Page Twelve 



EVOLUTION 



April, 192a 



Funnymentals 



"Believers in Evolution are one third 

 beast, one third devil and one third Uni- 

 versity Professor." Evangelist Dixon of 

 Chicago, in Straton"s Church. 



"I thank God that we have no free 

 schools nor printing presses, and I hope 

 that we shall not have any for a hundred 

 years; for learning has brought disobedi- 

 ence and heresy and sects into the world, 

 and printing has divulged them and lib- 

 elled governments. God keep us from 

 both." Gov. Berkley of Virginia, quoted 

 by Robert Baird, The Christian Retro- 

 spect and Register, 1851. 



"Bring a man to believe that the de- 

 calogue is not divinely inspired and that 

 human government has no better basis 

 than a particular stage in an evolution- 

 ary process, and he will inevitably trample 

 the decalogue under feet, disregard your 

 State statutes, and end in prison." Chris- 

 tian Fundamentalist, April, 1928. 



"The opinion of the earth's motion is 

 of all heresies the most abominable, the 

 most pernicious, the most scandalous; the 

 immovability of the earth is thrice sacred. 

 Arguments against the immortality of the 

 soul, the existence of God and the In- 

 carnation should be tolerated sooner than 

 an argument to prove that the earth moves." 

 Jesuit Father Melchior Inchofer, 1631. 



"This magazine (Evolution) which 

 sets up to fight fundamentalism is really 

 fighting dialectic materialism and a scien- 

 tific approach to the universe much harder. 

 It takes its stand against fundamentalism. 

 but also against scientific materialism and 

 for theism, fideism, spiritualism and every 

 kind of "modern' and 'enlightened' ideo- 

 logical reaction, with even fundamental- 

 ism having an opportunity to sneak in 

 again by the back door." — Bertram D. 

 Wolfe, New York. 



"The ark was approximately 450 feet 

 long, 75 feet wide, and had three floors. 

 Very little food was necessary, enough 

 simply for the maintenance of life. Many 

 of the smaller animals and birds could 

 occupy cells with the larger animals. — 

 It is well to suppose that the "twos" in 

 the ark were not systematic species, but 

 natural species, capable of varying in de- 

 scent after the flood in the same manner 

 as the human species has done. It is, 

 therefore, unjust to the Sacred Record to 

 insist that the ark carried two of every 

 variety, e. g., two fox terriers, two coyotes, 

 two wolves, two jackals, two collies, etc., 

 for that would be to crowd the ark un- 

 necessarily in our understanding. It is 

 better to say that the ark carried two 

 animals we might call "dogs" from which 

 after the flood all the above-mentioned 

 varieties have come. The load of the 

 ark, then, is considerably lightened. — 

 Very likely, then, the ark contained two 

 of each of these natural species, out of 



BOB TAYLORS 



GEOGRAPHY STORY 



By A. DuY McNair 



'T^HE late Governor Bob Taylor of Ten- 

 nessee was a famous story teller. One 

 of the many stories with which he con- 

 vulsed his audiences was that of the young 

 man who applied for a job of teaching 

 a country school. He was asked by the 

 school trustee whether he taught geo- 

 graphy by the round earth system or the 

 flat earth system, to which question he re- 

 plied diplomatically that he could teach 

 it either way. 



In certain quarters teachers of bio- 

 logy are asked whether they teach it by 

 the special creation theory or the evolu- 

 tion theory. The public does not laugh 

 at this as they did at the other, yet the 

 principle is the same. They will laugh at 

 it some day but that time has not yet 

 come. It is assumed in the case of geo- 

 giaphy that the teacher knows his sub. 

 ject and should teach it accordingly, but 

 it is assumed in the case of biology that 

 the teacher does not know his subject and 

 must be told what to teach or, at least, 

 what not to teach. 



The round earth theory of geography 

 and the evolution theory stand on substan- 

 tially the same footing as regards the 

 Bible. Before the rotundity of the earth 

 was generally accepted, the Bible was 

 quoted to show that the earth is flat. 

 The "waters above the firmament" and 

 "the foundation of the earth upon the 

 waters", the "corners of the earth", seem 

 to imply it. 



It was, of course, futile to quote these 

 things against the idea of a round earth 

 though the quotations were convincing to 

 many people until Magellan's ship actually 

 went around the earth. It is also futile 

 to quote the Bible against the doctrine 

 of evolution. Under the pressure of school 

 boards and public sentiment certain teach- 

 ers of biology here and there are willing 

 to teach it "either way" but in the long 

 i-un the matter will be decided by the 

 evidence in nature. 



which, since the flood, the wodd has been 

 replenished. Noah had one hundred and 

 twenty years in which to make the proper 

 selection, and doubtless God supplied him 

 with the proper guidance." Byron C. Nel- 

 son in The Bible Champion, April, 1928. 



"The Bible does not say that repro 

 duction shall be nearly according to kind 

 or seemingly according to kind. The 

 statement is positive that it is according 

 to kind, and that does not leave any room 

 for the changes, however gradual or im- 

 perceptible that are necessary to support 

 the evolutionary hypothesis." — William 

 Jennings Bryan in "The Menace of Dar- 

 winism." 



"Joshua would not have commanded 

 the sun to stand still if it hadn't been a 

 movin'." Rev. John Jasper, Richmond, Va. 



THE HE-MAN 



My father many times removed 

 And many times removed from that. 

 Went wandering through the verdant wood. 

 He wore no shoes nor any hat. 



His wife, an equal sufl'ragette. 



He wooed and won right daintily. 



He cracked her skull with his war clu'a 



And dragged her off to slavery. 



So when I'm told that I am bad 

 And ornery and awful rough 

 I always think of my old dad 

 And say, "I'm not half rough enough." 



G. T., in Good Morning. 



FTJNDAMENTALIST CONVENTION 

 The World's Christian Fundamentals 

 Association will holds its tenth anniver- 

 sary convention in Chicago May 13 to 20. 

 Our next issue will contain special articles 

 dealing with this occasion. Every reader 

 around Chicago should supply himself 

 with a bundle to circulate among his 

 friends to counteract the fundamentalist 

 campaign. 



SO THAT'S HOW IT WAS 



Overheard at the Los Angeles Museum 

 School Children's Day 



"Teacher, Who killed the Mastodon 

 That grew these monstrous bones?" 



"He was crowded out of the Ark, my child 

 So he went to Davy Jones. 



"The Big Ones couldn't get into the Ark — 



They were too long and wide; 

 There wasn't a place on earth to park, 



So they all got wet — and died; 



"If God had ordered a larger craft — 

 With plenty of grain and hay. 



And acres of deck-room fore and aft. 

 They would be alive today. 



"But the Ark was full; it was 'S. R. O.' 



With Jehovah's pets aboard — 

 When Father Noah slammed the door 



And Jupiter Pluvius 'poured'." 



J. C. Davis. 



