156 MUTTON BIRDS 



on one side the stolid Penguin, whilst on the 

 other' hovered the Weka light infantry. Several 

 times the eggs were within an ace of being 

 struck and borne off, and the Weka would cer- 

 tainly liaA^e scored, for our gesticulations, 

 hissings, and even the sticks and stones hurled, 

 were at least as terrifying to the innocent 

 Penguin. In conclave then we decided to trick 

 the Weka, and photograph him in the act of 

 theft. The pair of eggs was therefore removed 



battleship built for a navy overseas, that our legislation was the 

 most advanced, our national wealth the most evenly distributed, 

 and our rate of mortality the lowest in the world. I felt now that a 

 New Zealander had even in the matter of female attire excelled all 

 other inventors and beaten the more dressy nations so to speak 

 on their own ground. 



There is no serious thinker who has not deplored the pitiable 

 waste — I may say abuse — of ankle and leg that is taking place in 

 every country of the world, and it was partly to remedy this evil 

 that the 'kneeer' was designed. 



By the Split, X-ray and other antique patterns of the Old 

 World legs are revealed to all alike, and it requires no prophet 

 to foretell that the run on them will cease — nay must cease — with 

 their departed jjoetry. 



Private property in legs must be maintained, and to tamper 

 with them is to tamper with the very foundations of social order. 

 In other matters there may often exist reasons for innovation and 

 experiment, but you can't dilly-dally with legs, and my 'kneeer' 

 type of Ocydrome again places them entirely under their owners' 

 control. 



As the inventor I may be prejudiced — perhaps I am, — but I 

 can imagine no greeting more strictly moral, even sacerdotal, than 

 the twinkle or wink tipped by a 'kneeer,' worked at a fair speed, — 

 say a tenth or fifteenth of a second. The curtsy requires a tem- 

 porary stoppage of progression; my 'kneeer' can be winked at a 

 walk. Its greeting will supersede the bow. The Ocydrome 'necker' 

 will appeal more to the demi-monde, actresses, and the Smart Set, and 

 has its own sjjecial advantages. It can be made completely to hide its 

 wearer's identity, it can delay arrest, and the striking appearance 

 of the garment when fully extended into space will prove invalu- 

 able for purposes of advertisement. A procession of ten thousand 

 suffragettes, their skirts telescoped and set at 'time,' marching 

 roped together through the streets of a great city would provide 

 that toucli of earnestness and quiet determination that hitherto has 

 perhaps been lacking. 



One word more — the proceeds of the sale of the Ocydrome skirt 

 will be entirely devoted to the more efficient ranging of our 

 Sanctuaries and Forest Eeserves. 



