1 66 Fish Stories 



vintage to draw on the Duke, then he selected one of 1492, 

 alleged to have been told by Columbus. It was not com- 

 plimentary to the Duke ; but then the Duke did not care to 

 be complimented, and the story was good; if it had not 

 been, it would have been worn to a frazzle long ago. 



" Bill's wife had a baby last week," he said, looking at 

 the rest, but talking at the Duke. " He was so delighted 

 he came down to the Club to borrow D.'s scales. What do 

 you suppose the young gaffer weighed when he was three 

 hours and sixteen seconds old (I forget the latitude)? 

 Seventy-five pounds, it's a fact. Bill told me that D. gave 

 him ten dollars to keep still about it." 



The following day the Duke hunted up Bill, and gave him 

 four bits to explain the story. '' There must have been a 

 joke in it," he said, " as they all laughed, you know." 



" Yes, that's a great joke," repHed Bill, pocketing the 

 four bits. " The baby was weighed on the scales Mister 

 D. always weighs bis fish on, and the babby weighed seventy- 

 five pounds." 



" You're an Englishman, are you not ? " asked the Duke. 



" Yes, sir," was the reply. 



" Well, what's the joke in a child being a little heavier 

 than usual? I should consider it a piece of luck, though 

 seventy-five pounds is a trifle heavy for a newly-born 

 infant." 



" There hain't no joke in it, sir," whispered Bill. " What 

 these ere bloomin' Hamericans calls jokes, is a mighty dif- 

 ferent harticle from what we have in Hingland." 



The Duke was not satisfied, and it was bruited around, 

 that he was going over to the mainland to have an operation 

 performed, a trepanning, or something, to let in the joke, 

 some said. But this was probably an exaggeration; it cer- 

 tainly could not have been as bad as that, and that, too, 

 sounds like an old story. 



The next day after the boats came in, the Porch Club 

 was lined up again, telling what they had done in the past 



