I902] THE WARDROOM MESS 223 



seated before grace is said, and those who are not must duly 

 apologise to the president for their absence. 



'The dinner which follows is the same as that which is 

 served to the men earlier in the day, though with us it is 

 served in courses on a comparatively clean, if not a white, table- 

 cloth. Few of us drink any alcohol, except possibly an occasional 

 glass of wine after dinner, or a small bottle of beer on Sunday 

 with our mutton. We have a supply of " sparklets " that 

 make excellent ginger-beer or lemonade, and some cider, 

 which is sometimes drunk ; but the total consumption of 

 alcoholic drink is ridiculously small, and that not from any 

 rule of living or example, but simply because no one seems to 

 have any appetite for it. The consequence is we have a great 

 deal of whisky and wine on board which will certainly never 

 be touched. 



'After dinner the table is cleared, grace said, the wine 

 passed round, and the King's health formally drunk, when the 

 functions of the president cease. Whilst the latter is in office 

 the proprieties have to be observed on pain of a fine. No one is 

 allowed to contradict the president, no bets can be made, and 

 no reference-books can be consulted ; these limitations, with a 

 few others which are more rarely transgressed, cause a good 

 deal of amusement. Arguments are started on every imagin- 

 able subject under the sun, and the flattest contradictions are 

 given and returned ; as the president joins in the conversation, 

 the chances are that in the heat of debate someone will directly 

 traverse his statements or back his own opinion by saying, " I 

 bet you so and so " ; in either case his eager messmates call im- 

 mediate attention to his breach of etiquette, and he is promptly 

 fined " wine all round " ; no appeal is possible, and complaint is 

 met by an increase of the penalty. " Wine all round " doesn't 

 mean much in our abstemious community, but sometimes even 

 those who are practically teetotalers will relax to drink the health 

 of a hardened offender. After " The King " has been drunk there 

 is generally a rush for reference-books, and then a good deal of 

 twisting of position to suit the reference. Our reference- books 

 are fairly numerous, but (though we feel the lack of the 



