95



here I should have to make the best of it. It was not long before

I learned to sympathise with that bulldog and toy spaniel.


When enquiring about a new continent, one naturally asks

for its most remarkable product: I can safely say that in this case

it is “ the Voice.” Those two Cockatoos could give points to

any musician on the vexed question of voice production. When

they are carrying on a quiet orderly conversation, it reminds you

of a captain of an Atlantic liner giving his orders to the crew in

a storm ; but when they get fairly roused up, excited—say over

my appearance or yours—well, they would about wake the dead !

Sometimes, you know, when a friend tells you rather a tall tale,

you say very quietly', “ It’s a bit too large for my belief hatch ;

but if you can get it down yours, you are free and welcome

to ship it.” Well, I am telling the solemn truth when I say' that

I heard Solomon making some observations to his partner at our

station, which is nearly a mile from the vicarage.


The Solomon Islander is a deeply trying creature, who,

when y r ou are in want of a quiet morning snooze and just as you

have tucked the clothes up to your chin, serenades you until you

feel positively wicked, and get up and throw things at him. What

makes it so aggravating, not to say' maddening, is that the brute

never seems to be where you have thrown the things. You

could swear he was just where you shied that empty soda water

bottle, and instantly conies from the exactly' opposite direction

his “ Weigh, weigh, weigh.” He is a ventriloquist, and anyone

experienced in Cockatoos soon finds that he is not driven away'

or destroyed by the artillery' of missiles, but merely lies low until

his victim has got into bed again, and then off he starts, as fresh

as paint, with his “ Weigh, weigh, weigh,” in an ever increasing

crescendo. Whether he is talking to his lady love or whether he

wants me to come and fight him, I do not know, because my

knowledge of Cockatese is limited ; but there are times when I

don’t talk to him “ with a sweet mouth.”


Sometimes people incautiously take liberties with Solomon,

and try to scratch his head. They don’t usually try' a second

time! Solomon resents such liberties. A friend tried it once,

and got scratched. He blamed me ! I said people should be

very careful in handling strange Cockatoos ; and the scratched

one profusely agreed with me, and said things I will not repeat,

about “ that fool of a bird.”


Have y'ou ever seen a very' deaf old lady' trying to hear

what is said to her ? She puts up her ear trumpet and say's, “ Eh,

my' dear, what did y'ou say : the house on fire ? ” “ No,” you



