OUR AVERAGE MEMBER. 
(Read at a Social Gathering, January 26th, 1808 Vy 
Can you tell me how to know the man who belongs to our Society, 
And studies natural history in the good old city Hull? 
He wears a mien majestic—but tempered by sobriety, 
And his cranium, I warrant, is with useful knowledge full. 
If there’s anything you want to know in matters biological, 
He'll solve your problems for you in the twinkling of an eye, 
From how the megatherium lived in ages geological 
To how bacteria in a cell increase and multiply. 
He can tell you how the mammoth, a mighty beast and ponderous, 
Once trampled the East Riding beneath its dainty feet. 
And he knows about the hydra, a creature green and wondrous 
That inhabits our ditch waters—not particularly sweet. 
And he knows through all the district where each boulder stone 
is dwelling, 
And its size and weight and taste and smell he enters in a book ; 
And his list of fossil shell-fish is continually swelling, 
For he passes ne’er a quarry without just another look. 
In matters microscopical, he’s a perfect cyclopzedia, 
From “achromatic eyepieces” to ‘‘zoophytes” so small. 
He puts sections up in glycerine and sundry other media, 
And his slides are ringed so neatly they are admired by all. 
He’s better than a French cook at boiling of a diatom 
With nitric acid seasoning and sauce of H.Cl. 
From ditch or pond or fossil earth he always has a try at ’em, 
And their nice long names he relishes particularly well. 
He is also most instructive in local things botanical, 
Can tell you where to find the Colchicum so shy, q 
And where the bistort lurks concealed and where the tiny sanicle, — 
And if each plant is happiest damp or dry. a 
He has the fullest knowledge of the haunts of lepidoptera, ac 
Where the puss moth gnaws the willow by the windy point of 
Spurn. 
Where to find the coleoptera and also hymenoptera, 
For in local entomology he has little left to learn, 
He can track the wily helix by its footsteps bright and glistening 
Over stones and leaves and grasses to its most secluded nest. 
And he'll tell you how to do it too, if you'll only do the listening, 
You’ve but to press the button (so to speak) and science does — 
the rest, 
-And he knows like any Stanley all the local water courses, 
And where they used to flow a thousand years ago, 
And where among the hill tops their primal spring and source is. 
In short, there’s nothing scientific, but what he’s sure to know. | P 
PRESENTED RELP. 29 
1/12/99. 
