20 



Or else, thinks I, I shall not be in trim for what ensues ; 



And 'though I've breakfasted and lunched as well as any sinner, 



I must prepare at half-past four to do honour to the dinner. 



Well, dinner came, and pretty nigh on fifty sat at table, 



Though what we ate and what we drank to teU I am not able ; 



But everything was of the best the landlord could devise, 



At the bottom sat the Secretary, at the top sat Mr. Guise. 



And after dinner over, the Chairman gave " The Queen," 



And then we drank the Captain's health — the President's I mean — 



And then we had a quantity of scientific chat. 



And Dr. Bird he told us a story about a rat 



That he kept upon a shelf of his study in a glass. 



And fed on prussic acid and carbonic acid gas ; — 



And how it had a Uver in the inside of its back, 



And how the black rat ate the grey, or the grey rat ate the black ; 



But which was which, or which ate which, my memory does me fail. 



But I know it was a nasty beast with rings upon its tail. 



Then Mr. Norwood he got up and told about a ditch, 



A tumulus he caU'd it, in the digging out of which 



He'd found a lot of skeletons with their heads upon their knees ; 



And he thought that they'd been murdered some ancient nob to please ; 



■WTio didn't like all by himself to the other world to travel. 



And so had these poor fellows burk'd and put into the gravel ; 



Where Mr. Norwood found them, which was not altogether fair, 



For some one had written a paper and proved they wasn't there. 



This brought up Mr. Baker, who said he didn't know 



Nothing about anything, and that fact being so, 



He told us aU about it, which he was able to do the rather, 



That the paper about the victims was written by his own father. 



Then Mr. Nash got up and said they needn't be uproarious, 



For he know'd the man as digg'd the ditch, which his name it was Honorius; 



And that, if he remember' d right, he lived to tje three hundred and ten, 



And he didn't believe the story about the murder'dmen 



Though as to Mr. Norwood, he'd a scientific eye, 



And knew the why and the wherefore of what he did descry ; 



Yet he thought that Julius Caesar, or some other bloody Saxon, 



The scuUs of these poor creatures had been and put his axe on. 



And so we went on talking of burning and of slaughter, 



And drinking no end of tumblers of capital whiskey and water, 



Untn it was time to think to the Corn Exchange of retreating, 



Where the ladies in opera cloaks our appearance were anxiously waiting. 



About what was done at this place I don't feel perfectly clear, 



Which couldn't have been the fault of the whiskey and water and beer; 



But I know the President gave us a remarkably lucid address, 



Though what it was all about I wasn't quite able to guess. 



But he told us of what had been done by the Club at their various meets, 



And from all that he said, I've no doubt it was quite a succession of treat! ; 



For the company kept by the Club is all of the highest and best, 



Oslrea and Rhynchonella, Lejndoptera, Sphinx, and the rest ; 



And many other aristocrats whose names are too hard to pronounce, 



Though out of the President's mouth they slipp'd as easy as bounce. 



Then Mr. Symond's inform'd us that Adam had hatchets of flint. 



