yard is on fire." " If all Dublin was on fire," said the impertur- 

 bable Pope, " I could not admit you, for my master is at dinner." 

 " Then," said the Lord Mayor, " at least let us remain in some 

 other room until your master has dined, for our visit is one of 

 urgency." To this Pope hesitatingly acceded, and the gentlemen 

 were shown to the front drawing-room, Mr. Kirwan's usual sitting- 

 room, while the philosopher was finishing his dinner in the ad- 

 joining one. The Lord Mayor, in his impatience, had strided up 

 stairs before the servant, and had just laid his hand on the handle 

 of the door, when he was suddenly arrested by the shrill voice of 

 Pope crying, " Oh! Sir, they will get in, they will get in." " What 

 will get in ?" said the Lord Mayor, looking round in astonishment. 

 " Oh! the flies, Sir, the flies!'' ejaculated Pope, who opened the 

 room-door with the greatest precaution, and barely as much as suf- 

 ficed to permit the bodies of the visitors to be squeezed through ; 

 while, with the other hand, he rapidly waved a handkerchief to 

 keep off any of the troublesome winged intruders. Mr. Kir wan, 

 like Domitian, had a great abhorrence of flies ; he allowed his ser- 

 vants a small premium per dozen for killing them, and the presence 

 of one of them was a serious misdemeanour. 



After a short time Mr. Kirwan appeared ; the Lord Mayor de- 

 livered his errand, and the Philosopher pronounced the remedy in 

 four monosyllables: — " Throw sand on it." This was done, and 

 the fire which threatened the city for three days was quickly ex- 

 tinguished. 



Mr. Kirwan's precaution of chaining the hall-door while he was 

 at dinner, and refusing to see any person, arose from a very great dif- 

 ficulty in swallowing, owing to debility in the muscks of the throat, 

 which caused him to make such contortions while eating as would be 

 disagreeable to the beholders. The same aficction obliged him to 

 abstain from all kinds of meat except ham, the saltness of which, 

 although it were ever so tough, enabled him to get it down. His 

 dinner was a bowl of milk and a ham, with which he commenced 

 on Sunday, dined on it every day after, it being reheated each 

 time, until Saturday, and on the next day anew one was brought on 

 the table. He very seldom indulged in a glass of wine; and when 

 he did, it was some kind of Spanish white wine with a small bit of 



