1 66 Parrots & Parakeets 



On one occasion she fitted two separate sayings 

 together in a mysteriously appropriate way. She often 

 called "John ;" to me, an unknown person; and a 

 favourite exclamation was, " You ugly brute ! " 



One day a new footman arrived, whose name was 

 John. 



For the first time in his fresh situation he 

 brought in the tea-tray with its complement of cups, 

 saucers, &c. 



As he steered shyly and gingerly through the 

 elaborate maze of chairs and small tables which 

 distinguishes the modern method of drawing-room 

 arrangement, Polly for the first time in her life con- 

 nected these two sayings together. A loud and 

 masterful voice from behind a screen, close to which 

 the footman was passing, exclaimed, " John ! you ugly 

 br-r-rute ! " John recovered the shock, but for one 

 moment there was every prospect of the tea-tray and 

 its contents being hurriedly deposited on the floor. 



For the time being he must have thought that 

 some inmate of the house was slightly off his head, 

 with a particular craze for devouring bread and butter, 

 for the parrot had immediately added, " Bread and 

 but." This bird's favourite sentence is, " How are 

 you off for soap, my dear ? " each word pronounced 

 with astonishing clearness, in a very pompous and 

 masculine voice. 



" Do you see any green in my eye ? " was a ques- 

 tion he used to put to visitors ; and he frequently 

 placed our feelings on the rack by calling insinuatingly, 

 " Puff, Puff, Puff; poor old Puff"; come along ! " 



