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philosopher, of course. Reasoning from the little experience he had 

 been able to collect, he profoundly asserted that the firmament of 

 heaven was merely a chamber floor, with holes of greater and lesser 

 magnitude perforated in it and a large flaming fire kept up behind, the 

 small holes were bored with a bradawl, the larger ones with a gimlet, 

 and the sun and moon with a faucet-wimble. This theory agitated 

 nations ; human lives were sacrificed in its support ; hecatombs were 

 offered unto the gods in testimony of its truth. I am unable to say 

 how many generations of men it required to outlive this profound 

 theory, until at last it \vas hinted that when the tap-hole and bung-hole 

 of a barrel arc once inserted they always maintain their relative 

 positions, although it was frequently observed that the same law did 

 not obtain with the tap-hole and bung-hole of the sky, for the moon 

 often changed places with the sun, and would sometimes set up her 

 pale face in the east when her brighter companion had hid his charms 

 in the west. Besides, it was urged that the expense of keeping so 

 many and such vast fires alight, was so great, that men, however, 

 began to doubt ; cut from the anchorage of Chi-me-ri their bark was 

 a plaything on the billows of chance, and they began even to blush 

 that an imposture so great should, for so many ages, have held their 

 minds in thrall, and entrapped their curiosity ; the temples of Chi-me-ri 

 then began to thin, and votive offerings were made at the shrines of 

 Fan-ti-ci. 



He still kept up the idea of a chamber-floor to the sky (and we 

 now know the sun would supply him with beams). But even his 

 imagination could not supply the fire. He taught that the stars were 

 brass nails of smaller and larger magnitude, dri%'en into the rafters. 

 The very large ones were drawer knobs, and the sun and moon patent 

 reflectors that would have had the power to throw light even into an 

 election enquiry ! Old temples were demolished, new ones erected, in 

 honour of this clockwork of the brain, but the cup of wisdom was 

 drained to its dregs, nations ranged themselves under the banners of 

 Fan-ti-ci. Mystery, the high priest of danger, stultified hope ; man 

 sought the light of the glow-worm, but scorned that of the sun and 

 moon. Again, doubt pressed his ugly form to the front, and it was 

 gravely hinted that the labour of keeping so many brass nails clean, 

 merely for mankind to look at, was at least an useless one ; and, 

 besides, if the whole of the Bristol-of-Chaldea had been made of one 

 brick, and the skins of every animal that had ever lived had been 



