TWO MINUTE TALKS. 465 



glad I came down here to this meeting. This is my second trip, 

 and I hope to be able to come oftener hereafter. (Applause.) 



The Chairman : I am sorry we did not have Mr. Sievert on the 

 program. Now I am going to call on Mr. Philips for a two minute 

 speech, but not a second longer. He hasn't said much at this meet- 

 ing, but we don't know what he would do if we let him alone. 



Mr. A. J. Philips (Wis.) : I want to tell you how I happened 

 to come down here. My wife says, "You are not going up there 

 this year." I said, "I feel as well as I ever did." "Well, then go 

 out and bring in an armful of wood," she said. (Laughter.) There 

 is an old gentleman in our county who had an apple at St. Louis 

 that was raised from the Duchess seed. He sent me a dozen up 

 here, and I am going to give them away on the same conditions 

 that Mr. Elliot gave his away. Any one who will take that apple 

 and take the seed out of it will have the seed from a Duchess 

 seedling. This looks as good as the Duchess, and there may be 

 seed enough in these apples to produce something wonderful. I 

 am not going to take any time talking to you today. I w^as looking 

 up the record this morning, and I found that the first time I at- 

 tended a meeting of this society was in 1877. I have attended 

 nearly all of them since that time, and I have talked and done a 

 great many things that I thought' were good and some that were 

 foolish. I am always glad to come, and I told my wife I was going 

 to attend the Minnesota meetings as long as I could, and as long 

 as Yahnke is across the river to encourage me I am going to call 

 on you as often as I can. There is not much difference between 

 Yahnke and me. I heard a story the other day, and I was mightily 

 afraid the senator was going to tell it. There were two Irishmen 

 that came to this country whom we call Pat and Mike, and t'hey 

 both worked for one man. The man they worked for was a 

 Protestant, and he invited the men to go to church with him one 

 Sunday. Well, they accepted his invitation, and the next Sunday 

 went to church with him. Among other things that took place 

 during t'he service the choir sang an anthem. The next day while 

 they were at work Mike said, "Pat, an' phat is the difference be- 

 chune a hymn and an onthem? Oi can't see ony difference meself." 

 Mike says, "An' shure, there's a moighty big difference. If Oi says 

 to yez, 'Pat, hand me that crowbar,' that is a hymn the way they 

 used to sing 'em, but if Oi say, 'Pat, Pat, pat-pat-pat, hand me, 

 hand-hand, hand me-me-me, hand-me that crow, that crow, crow- 

 crowbar, b-b-bar, bar, bar-barbar crowbar,' thot is an onthem, an' 

 thot is the difference between a hymn and an onthem." (Great 

 laughter.) I want to thank you for your attention and your kind- 

 ness to me while I have attended your meetings. (Applause.) 



The Chairman : I notice we have a lady here who has grt>wn 

 some very fine seedlings, and I am going to call on Miss Cairns, of 

 Wisconsin, 



Miss Gertrude M. Cairns (Wis.) : I feel as though T was put 

 into the hardest place I was ever put into speaking after Mr. 

 Philips. (Laughter.) I have had the privilege of attending several 



