238 THE MICROSCOPE. 



AT THE DOCTOR'S EXPENSE. 



Latin is a "dead language," especially when an inexperienced 

 drug clerk fools with it. 



It is claimed by some medical men that tobacco weakens the 

 eyesight. May be it does but just see how it strengthens the 

 breath. 



Says Jobling, in Martin Chuzzlewit: "We know a few secrets 

 of nature in our profession. Of course we do. We study for that; 

 we pass the Hall and the College for that; and we take our station 

 in society by that." 



"I understood you to say that your charges would be light," 

 complained a patient when his doctor handed him a tremendous 

 bill. "I believe I said my fees would be nominal," was the reply; 

 "but " "Oh, I see," interrupted the patient, "//^-nomenal!" 



A correspondent writing from Hot Springs, Ark., says that the 

 Springs are run by the devil and that he heals his own, so 

 that those who come and receive no- benefit can feel assured of their 

 future welfare. 



Dr. Holmes relates the following to illustrate the significance 

 of small things, in the sick room: "Will you have an orange or a 

 fig?" said Dr. James Jackson to a fine little boy now growing up to 

 goodly stature. "A fig," answered Master Theodore, with alacrity. 

 "No fever there," said the good doctor, "or he would certainly have 

 said an orange." 



At Croton, New York, common drugs are sold at all the stores. 

 Recently, an Irishwoman entered- one of them, and said to a new 

 clerk: "Would you be afther putting up for me a pound of Queen 

 Anne's powders?" The clerk took down a package of Royal baking 

 powder, and was doing it up, when she exclaimed: "Not that at 

 all; me Pathrick is sick wid the African fever." "The what fever!" 

 inquired the clerk. "The nigger fever," replied the woman. "And 

 ye should see poor Pathrick shake. He hasn't a tooth left." The 

 woman got the quinine which she wanted. 



