132 ANNUAL REPORT. | 
would bear any apples next year, I felt like saying—(although I did as fruit- 
growers and nurserymen often do, kept part back)—‘‘ My dear sir; with your 
limited knowledge of the trees you have bought; your lack of. the same in after — 
culture; your location on this rich, bleak prairie; the varieties you have pur- 
chased, my advice would be, dig your hole a little deeper; prepare a board bear- 
ing the inscription, here lies personal property which cost $15; time spent talking 
with agent, $1; time bringing home same, $4; burying and incidentals, $3. 
Total, $23. Then put the trees in, cover them up, put up the board at one end 
of the hole, to mark the spot, and then take pains that they never were uncovered, 
but hold the spot sacred; and should any of the future generation of tree pedlars 
call that way you could effectually dismiss him without losing much time, by 
calling his attention to that epitaph.’’ But I did not say it, although I sincerely 
thought it the cheapest way of disposing of his trees. But as the poor man had 
no wife, I thought perhaps that it would be as well to set the trees, them he - 
would have something to annoy him and take his time when not otherwise 
employed. So after giving the best directions I could as to burying, resurrecting 
and planting his trees, I left him dreaming of a bountiful crop of apples in two 
or three years. 
Wishing you a pleasant and profitable meeting, I am yours truly, 
A. J. PHILLIPS. 
