THE MICROSCOPE. 87 



Never cry over spilt milk. There is enough water in it al- 

 ready. — Ex. 



They're still on the hunt for oleomargarine. Tallow ho! — 

 Hartford Journal. 



A weak mind is like a microscope, which magnifies trifling 

 things, but cannot receive great ones. — Ex. 



The Boston Transcript says the milk train does not stop at whey 

 stations. Where, then, does it take in water? — Ex. 



"I find that with light meals my health improves," said 

 the Esquimaux; and down went another candle. — Courier Journal. 



If a man is very sick and needs immediate attention, what kind 

 of a physician do they send for? Why, a nigh and near doctor, of 

 course. — Baltimore Every Saturday. 



Glucose and other manufacturing interests have prevented the 

 passage by the Illinois legislature of an act against the adulteration 

 of food and drugs. — Ex. 



When you read the seductive legend in the tobacconist's window, 

 "Our five-cent cigars can't be beat," remember if they can't be beet, 

 they may be cabbage. — Ex 



"Plenty of milk in your cans thia morning?" a customer asked 

 the milkman, the other morning. And the milkman nodded gravely 

 as, without a wink in his eye, he replied, "Chalk full." — Ex. 



A single doctor like a sculler plies; 



The patient lingers and by inches dies; 



But two physicians, like a pair of oars, 



Waft him with swiftness to the Stygian shores. — Ex. 



A doctor went out for a day's hunting, and on coming home 

 COmplamed that he hadn't killed anything. 



"That's because you didn't attent to your legitimate business/' 

 said his wife. — Ex. 



