1806.] 



Memoirs of Mr. Necker, by his Daughter. 



535 



you throughout your lifs." My God ! 

 to a truly feeling heart fuch refleSioiis 

 fiiould bring inftant death. 



It was fom^times a ciutl refleclion to 

 love fo ardently a man fo much older than 

 yourfelf, to have no power over that in- 

 vincible neceflity which is one day tolepa- 

 rate you, to break the heart a^ainft that 

 barrier, to feel that he would wifti to live 

 for you, live to love ycu, and to be incn- 

 pable of I'natching from your own boConi 

 that life which agitated you, tliat life 

 which devours you, at leaft to ftiare it 

 with him. 



One of the moft forprifing wonders in 

 the moral world is that forgetfulnels of 

 death in which we all exift, that frivolity 

 of fenfations which makes us float lo 

 lightly on the waves. I am not aftonifhed 

 that fufceptible minds fuddenly Itrized 

 with this idea (hould have retired to the 

 folitude of cloiliers, and furrounded' 

 themfclves wi:h the moft gloomy objefts, 

 to eftablifh the more harmony between 

 their early and their later days. Alas ! 

 we know not in youth, we know not till 

 the arrival of fome great misfortune, what 

 it is to truft to our fate no more. Not a 

 day do I feparate myfelf from the objefls 

 that are left to me ; but every noife feems 

 to come from that mefTenger at Berlin who 

 changed my deftiny for ever ; poetry, 

 mufic, thofe inexhaurtible fources of ten- 

 der melancholy, painfully afFeft my heart 

 with bitter foothings ; I cannot perfuade 

 itiyfelf that he is not prefent, that my tear* 

 will not recal bun to life ; thofe deep 

 emotions, once fo delicious, tholi; emo- 

 tions to which I am indebted for talent 

 and enthufmlin, only tend to rcftorein my 

 brealt the grief which has been lulled by 

 the common occupations of the journey. 



There is a window of my father's cabi- 

 net at Coppet which l<joks on the wood 

 where he had built ih.-. tomb cf my mother 

 and his own j from this windi.w an ave- 

 nue alfo appears, where every time I quit- 

 ted him he came to b'd me adieu, and to 

 falute me with his white handkerchief, 

 which I continued to perceive at a dif- 

 tance. One of the evenings which I 

 patTed with him lalt fummer m this f.imc 

 cabinet, after convtrfing fumiliarly fur 

 fome time, 1 put the queltion to hiinfelf, 

 to hint! who Itemed deftintd to prelcive me 

 from all that could befal me, even from 

 his own lols, what would become of me 

 if ever it niuft fall to my lot to endure it ? 

 '< My child (laid he to me with a faulter- 

 ing voice, with an emotion that was celi-f- 

 tial^, ' Gud tempers the wind to the 

 (hgrn lai&b." Ah ! chc dorm hxs n«t 



fpared me ; and it was at the moment 

 when I was deprived of my own country, 

 that another country, my paternal feat, 

 became to me a tomb. 



I fhall no doubt be blamed for printing 

 among the thoughts my father left behind 

 him thofe which contain fome eulogies on 

 myfelf j but I do not fear to avow that 

 nothing on eaitk affords me fo much pride 

 as the eulogies beftowed on me by my fa- 

 ther. Far from fupprefling them, I 

 co'ild have wiflied to have been able to 

 reprint in this colleflion both the note re- 

 lative to me which is annexed to the Mif- 

 (jellaneous Pieces of my mother, and the 

 letters conceriiing my fate which he ad- 

 dreffed laft year to one of tlie firft func- 

 tionaries of t!;e (f-5te. I (hould have had 

 no enemies. I fhould oniy have met with 

 that which was my due, becaufe it was 

 what 1 experienced, goodwill, in (hield- 

 ing myfelf with this magnificent ;elti- 

 mony ; but it is at prefent my sgis, and 

 it fliall be my fafeguard to the tomb, 

 where we fliall one day all three be united. 



Let who will then indulge this obfer- 

 vation, a mighty pleafant one at the brink 

 of the grave, " that we are a family who 

 praife each other." Yes, we have loved 

 each other, we have felt it neceffary to ex- 

 piefsit, and ever diflaining to repel the at- 

 tacks of our enemies, to make vfe of our 

 talents againll them, we have dppofed 

 them in common with one proud and ele- 

 vated fentimeni, of -which I alone am left 

 the fad but faithful repofitory. 



My father writes in one of his notes, 

 •' What a fjngular family is ours I" Sin- 

 gular it is, but may it be psr.niited to 

 remain fo. The crowd wiil n^t prefs in 

 the road it has chofen ; and pofteiity only 

 will pronounce whether my f.uher did 

 right to facrifice fo many immediate ad- 

 vantages to the fuffrages of ages. 



He particularly admired the expreflion 

 of St. Augurtine in f;)eaking of the Divi- 

 nity, " Pattens quia eternus" — patient 

 becaufe eteinal, Man, feeble at lie is,— . 

 man, when he has pretenfions to glory, to 

 terreftrial immjrt;ility, ought to be patient, 

 if he would vviQi to be eternal. 



My father, as it will he fecn in his re- 

 fle6lions, often occupied his mind with 

 death. He hail en-iciv nired to render it 

 fsmlliar to his imaginaiion j and perhapi 

 he would have talked of it oftcncr with 

 me, if the difference of our ages had not 

 made the fubjeft too painful to me. But 

 fortunately this word, tliediffeience of our 

 ages, has only a tranfient (ijnle. I (hall 

 alio experience thole agonies ol that death 

 vtliich he hat felt, aud svhei) they are ad. 

 vaucing 



