1822. ] 
not the idle; on the circulating and 
beneficial, not on the fixed and unser- 
viceable property; for infringements 
on the means of subsistence, by taxing 
the very food and drink of the people ; 
and for the misery, ignorance, and bar- 
barization of the boorish classes; inso- 
much that 1 should not wonder if, in 
the course of a century, two-thirds of 
the people were got habitually to de- 
pend on public succour for their very 
maintenance. 
With such opinions (retorted I) you 
can hardly, in this state of society, con- 
descend to be a proprietor of soil.— You 
are not mistaken, (replied he) ; I have 
no property of that, or of any other de- 
scription, and am, therefore, an impar- 
tial judge. 
And by what criterion (I went on) 
are the members of these clubs to be 
selected—by the amount of their rent- 
roll? No (said he); of the upper club 
the members shall be born so:—(Ridi- 
culous! interjected 1:)—only I shall 
suffer the prince to force upon them 
enow new members, just to defraud 
the public of any benefit which their 
independence might else bestow. While 
the doctrine of innate ideas was yet be- 
lieved, the providing a breed of legisla- 
tors was natural enough ; the father, it 
was supposed, might transcribe, or 
transfer, an abridgment of the statutes 
upon the brain of the embryo; but now 
that this notion is exploded, I hold it 
impossible that any thing like attach- 
ment or confidence can cling to an he- 
reditary clab, on which account [ in- 
stitute one. And as it must be peculi- 
arly obvious, that this club will have 
an interest distinct from the rest of the 
community, I take especial care to 
confer on it the supreme judicial power. 
These club-fellows ({ remarked) 
will, however, be very happy them- 
selves. I doubt that (quoth he). I 
make their whole property descendable 
only to the first-begotten son; by which 
means the sisters must take, or at least 
execute, a vow of celibacy; and the 
younger brothers be quartered in the 
1ospitals, foundations, and establish- 
ments, provided for the national poor ; 
so that family bickerings shall counter- 
poise publie elevation, and an elder 
brother be the proverbial phrase for a 
greedy, grudging oppressor. 
But tell me (said I then to Adelolmi) 
what is the other club to be made of,and 
made for? It isto be made of men (an- 
swered he) chosen every seven years by 
a grotesque sort of lottery. Asa king 
of Persia was nominated by his stallion, 
Suppressed Chapter of Gulliver's Travels. 
103 
so some of these shall owe their power to 
a warren of rabbits, and some to a walk 
of sheep, some toa blacksmith, and some 
to a bank-uote. Others shall be nomi- 
nated by attroopments of people, on 
some of whom I bestow votes, because 
they eat boiled victuals; on others be- 
cause they are fishmongers, grocers, or 
glovers, or have studied for seven years 
any one of those mysteries, which were 
a mean of livelihood in the reign of the 
virgin-queen. And what is this club 
to do? (asked I). They are to meet 
yearly (said he) on the birth-day of the 
prophet, in the metropolis, and to sub- 
scribe a declaration that bread is not 
human flesh, and that they will never 
turn anthropophagites. Then the 
maggiordomo of the prince is succes- 
sively to invite to dinner as many 
as are willing to be fed at the pub- 
lic tables, and, having caleulated 
what additional rate is necessary to ac- 
commodate all the guests, he recom- 
mends to their own liberality the pro- 
vision, which is accordingly to be levied 
by an excise, upon the rice, the sherbet, 
the arcka, and other comforts of the 
people. This mode of assessment has 
the further advantage, that the richest 
pay no more than the poorest to such 
taxes, as they are things of which every 
man consumes an equal quantity. 
The levies made, then, may begin all 
the turbulences of democracy, The 
minds of the people are to be violently 
irritated by those who do not like the 
maggiordomo’scookery ; factious cabals 
and associations are to be formed against 
his household, and acts of riot and dis- 
order committed by his valets against 
the houses and persons of the dissatis- 
fied. Sometimes these associations 
may conspire to abolish the worship of 
the sun, sometimes to set at liberty the 
olive-coloured persons in the harems, 
sometimes to celebrate the pastoral 
constitution of the Patagouians, and 
sometimes to obtain a right of voting 
for all persous having stomachs, under 
the idea that. by these means, the pub- 
lic tables might be given to the hun- 
griest, instead of the daintiest, but al- 
ways in vain. ‘ No amendment”? is 
the radical maxim of the constitution : 
“ Woe to him who thinks ill of it” the 
motto of the national coat of arms. 
Is this devoted country of yours (said 
I) to be without a religion? It shall 
not be without bonzes, at least, (an- 
swered he), and I have nearly deter- 
mined to give some of them a place in 
the upper club, in order to facilitate 
the alliance of religious and civil fac- 
tions, 
