1825,]° 
[433] 
ORIGINAL POETRY. 
HOW TO MAKE NEGUS. 
/A| TALE FOR GOOD FELLOWS. 
As different tempers urge, experience says, 
Men seek the self-same end by different 
ways ; 
Some take in knowledge at a hird’s-eye view, 
And some, with reptile pace, the task pursue; 
One grasps by force, what others filch by 
guile ; 
This, creeps beneath; and that, o’erleaps 
the stile. 
Lostinalabyrinth, lo! Sir Prudence strays— 
‘Yhrids, and’ re-thrids, with cautious step, 
the maze; - 
Marks every winding, every turning tries, 
With feet slow-moving and observant eyes; 
Day after day the elaborate scheme pursues ; 
And, often failing, still, as oft, renews 
The patient toil. 
Not so, Sir Ardent: he, adventurous knight ! 
(Impatient of such slow turmoil,— 
And heedless where he next may light, 
So he escape the present thrall) 
Gives passion rein; and, main and might, 
Breaks thro’ the hedge, or scales the wall. 
In common life, ’tis just the same: 
One acts by whim, and one by rule. 
Give this but fish, and flesh, and game, 
He matters not the table’s form ; 
But, “ Bless our meat!” he briefly cries, 
And knife and fork and spoon he plies, 
And tucks it in while it is warm, 
His neighbour, bredin Order’s school, 
For form, and state, and method wishes : 
Looks to the figure of the dishes; 
Nor Haunch nor Pasty can enjoy 
If but one platter stand awry. 
These all, at length, in order set— 
When stomachs yearn and mouths all water, 
He sti]l must keep us on the fret, 
And, giving hungry guests no quarter, 
With clasping hands and eyes uproll’d, 
Say a long grace till dinner’s cold. 
Two neighbours of like different classes, 
By chance sat jingling o’er their glasses :— 
Mirth-lover one, the soul of whim,— 
His comrades call him merry Jim ; 
And Nottingham, in floods of ale, 
Has oft exulted o’er his tale; 
While quaint conceits and merry mockings, 
Were knit as close as yarn in stockings. 
The other (friend to early dozing) 
Had a small talent too—at prosing ; 
And, as he thought no tongue could tell, 
‘Like his, the rules for living well, 
Or had the means, so true and ample, 
To illustrate these by home example,— 
His wit was seiz’d with usual labour, 
And caught the button of his neighbour ; 
Then, with deliberate phrase, proceeded 
To tell how hour to hour succeeded ; 
What occupation fill’d each season, 
(Nor ’scaped one fact without its reason, 
‘That, footman-like, in liveried comment, 
Fotlow’d the lordly thing of moment !) 
How every morn he rose at seven,— 
Becausge "tis good to rise betimes ; 
Monguty Mac. No. 417. 
How went to bed at just eleven,— 
As punctual.as the parish chimes ; 
Which stocking first on’s leg he drew ; 
What slipper wore to save his shoe ; 
Who made his smallelothes ; and what stuff 
Of sober durance screen’d his buff; 
When he walk’d forth—on what occasions— 
Vocations what, and avocations. 
Then every meal, in order due, 
He took; and pros’d the process thro’, 
So leisurely—you might have eat, 
While hein words cary’d o’er his meat. 
Well—deem the breakfast, lunch and dinner 
Fairly rehears’d ; and think, ye winner, 
You are not fore’d to hear or see 
His measur’d spoonfulls of Bohea, ; 
With cream, with sugar, and oration 
Against vile Green’s concatenation. 
You deem the hour of trial past : 
For-supper is dismiss’d at last. 
What more (for still he holds the button) 
Must our imprison’d wag be put on? 
The Necus, Sir—his nightly draught, 
Must in descriptive stream be quaft ; 
And this, if simple truth content ye, 
We’ll in the speaker’s words present ye, 
Unalter’d, save by a sort of chime 
We tag to ’t, in our hobbling rhyme. 
“ Now, Sir, I hold it past a question, 
That, just to heip the weak digestion, 
And further healthful chyle’s secretion, 
When stomach verges to repletion, 
And to provoke a cheerful mood, 
Some gentle.stimulant is good ; 
And best (if’t be not made too stout) 
Good red-wine-negus, past all doubt : 
And so, I take each night, do you see? 
Just one pint tumbler—two to three. 
But Negus, as Sam Soakwell says, 
Ts manufactur’d various ways: 
Not all whom Fortune (past dispute) 
Has blest with sugar, wine, and fruit, 
Know how to use them, and concoct 
The bounties from her urn unlock’d. 
Some put the wine first—some the water ;— 
Some take no note about the matter, 
But water, syrup, lemon, wine, 
As ’twere by huddling chance, combine; 
And brew, as natural ’tis enough, 
Too mawkish now, and now too rough. 
Not so with me—for always I 
For every thus have still my why : 
And so—my good pint glass I take, 
And thus the choice potation make— 
First take of sugar lumps just three, 
Then squeeze my lemon—not too free ; 
Tea-spoonfuls three, of water, then 
Tadd: then taste—and squeeze again, 
Till, in proportion due, I find 
The acid and the sweet combin’d, 
This once achiey’d, from self-same glass, 
Water and wine alternate pass ; 
A bumper each ; remembering still; 
Afier each second turn, to fill 
One water extra, till it swim 
Lighth of an inch below the briny 
Next, Sir, I grate a little peel ; 
3K Some 
