1826.] Despatched to civilize the Wahvorthians. 477 



Tliis barbarian had scarcely taken his seat, when two other saiall 

 taps were heard, and presently, in sidled an enormous she savaKC 

 of a circumference not to be mentioned witliout awe, accompanied 

 by her spouse, a mild-looking native with liis hands stuck fast in his 

 breeches " sockets," or as our interpreter corrected us, his " pockets." 

 These two had scarcely seated themselves, and answered sundry 

 domestic interrogatories from our host, when about half-a-dozen 

 more taps were heard, and in rushed a possee of savages male and 

 female, young and old, but all stamped with the same characteristic 

 vulgarity. About this time some quaintly dressed barbarians made 

 their appearance, bearing in tiieir hands certain musical instruments, 

 resembling (although on u coarse scale) what are made in our own 

 country, which proved, to the satisfaction of my friend and myself, tliat 

 the colony above-mentioned must have had greater influence on the 

 Indigetes than is usually supposed by travellers. On the first entrance of 

 these animal pha^nomena, I was so thoroughly ignorant of their intentions 

 as to turn for information to a savage, wlio chanced to be standing beside 

 me, and who, staring at me for some time in wonder, archly replied, 

 through the medium of our interpreter, " Them, sir ! oh, tliem's the 

 musicians." This, as I judge from the grin that accompanied it, was 

 an excellent joke : I cannot say myself I saw much in it, but all wit 

 loses in translation, you know. 



While these eccentric musicians were tuning their instruments, and 

 the savages were preparing for what they call a " dance," two slaves or 

 servants came in, with a dish of biscuits, we believe, in one hand, and 

 of Port wine negus, or some such liquid atrocity, in the other. The 

 instant Muggins beheld them, he rushed ravenously up, with " I'll have 

 a bit of summat before I begins, because, you see, I'm peckish ;" and 

 forthwith commenced a vigorous attaclv on the two dishes, kept in 

 countenance by the fat she savage above-mentioned, who chanced to be 

 standing next him, and who exclaimed between whiles (with her mouth 

 ftill), " Well said. Muggins ; but lawk, you're sich a wag I" (our inter- 

 preter, it must be remembered, repeated the substance of all these 

 conversations to us). Meanwhile the rest of the barbaiians got them- 

 selves into action, and stood up in two parallel lines, for what they call 

 " a country dance." This saltatory abomination is perpetrated as foUows: 

 the man who stands at the head of one line, looks at the woman wlio 

 stands at the head of the other, upon which they both twirl round like 

 whipping-tops, and then run down between the two lines, preserving 

 during the whole operation as much gravit)^ as if they were on the eve 

 of being hanged. The rest do the same, but being usuall}'^ as indepen- 

 dent of ear as the music of harmony, a most diverting confusion takes 

 place, of which the following is an exemplary instance. The savage who 

 led off at the end of one line, happening to wheel the wrong way, came 

 in contact with a barbarian in black breeches behind him, and so severe 

 was the shock, that he pitched back upon the foremost musician; who in 

 return fell with his fiddle into the arms of the next in advance, and he 

 again upon his rearward man, which last, being seated on a level with tJie 

 window (on a raised platform), plumped head-foremost through three 

 panes of glass, into a luxuriant horse-pond beneath him. 



When order was somewhat restored, the savages had leisure to 

 examine the personal peculiarities of us (the intruders) ; and finding 

 our dress, manners, conversation, and especial!}' our whiskers, which 



