480 Journal of two Missionaries [May, 



accompanied by our interpreter and host, where we found an acre of 

 ground, with a horse-pond in the middle, literally covered with all sorts 

 of curious huts, houses, horses, caravans, and shows. While sauntering 

 through this novel scene, my friend felt a mysterious twitch at his coat, 

 in front, and endeavouring to ascertain the cause of it, discovered, 

 to his infinite chagrin, that his watch, like a phantom, had vanished — 

 a symptom of civilization which, we must confess, not a little surprised 

 us. 



After accurately acquainting ourselves with the nature and origin of 

 this strange festival, we returned home, accompanied by our friend the 

 chief, his squaw, and her three young savages. We then put on our 

 full ball-room dress, as West-End Missionaries of Fashion, and soon 

 afterwards set out for the habitation of the. she-barbarian who had so hos- 

 pitably invited us. This assembly was the precise counterpart of the 

 preceding one, except that among the junior savages, of either sex, our 

 manners and appearance seemed to have been more admired, and, as far 

 as they could be, adopted. We were even requested to call a Spanish 

 waltz, which we gladly obeyed, and were not a little proud to find that 

 it was generally imitated, especially by the she-savages. To be sure 

 the evolutions were somewhat clumsily executed — but what of that ? we 

 must all have a beginning. 



The following week was spent pretty much in the same manner ; our 

 company was universally courted ; and although many of the elder 

 savages, bigotted to their own prejudices, would have driven us with scorn 

 from their country, yet the young ones (all but Muggins) befriended us : 

 the men adopting our dress, whiskero and nonchalance ; the women, our 

 languishing and effeminate elegance, and sighing Tor the charms of a 

 country where such young men, to use their own choice expression, 

 " were as thick as hops." The first steps towards civilization have in all 

 ages been the same. It was by degrees only that Lycurgus modelled 

 Sparta, that Romulus improved Rome, that Confucius refined China (if 

 it be refined), and that we civilized Walworth. We began by gentle 

 alteratives — to borrow a phrase from the faculty; and when we had 

 sufficiently prepared, without nauseating the system, we adopted bolder 

 purgatives ; the consequence of which was, that the national constitution 

 of the savages received a fashionable tonic, which has set it all to^rights. 



It rejoices us to state that among the Walworthians alone, without 

 enumerating the adjacent tribes of Camberwell, Kennington, and New- 

 ington, through whom the blessed example we have set will no doubt be 

 soon disseminated, that there are no less than two professed hells, one 

 French hotel, together with a variety of promising young gamblers, 

 under whose auspices the barbarians are rapidly advancing towards 

 civilization. Nay, their very hours are altered ; they no longer dine at 

 two o'clock, or indulge in the dietetic enormity of suppers — all these 

 atrocious habits are eradicated ; and we are not wholly without hopes of 

 finding the wives become as indifferent to their husbands as they are at 

 the West- End. But such a desirable consummation cannot be expected 

 to take place all at once, you'll allow. 



Thus, Mr. Secretary, have we partially succeeded in civilizing that 

 savage tract of country (extending from 50 to 51 degrees north latitude, 

 and longitude 120), and introducing to our West-End readers a tribe of 

 barbarians, whose very existence, except among our more adventurous 

 travellers, has been hitherto disputed. Before, however, we close this 



