32 Hell-fire Dick, [Jan. 
hand of then, continued his speech in a yet bolder strain, little deeming 
there was to be any after-reckoning. 
“«« T see you understand me,’ he said ; ‘ and, I tell you again, you are 
a set of niggardly, ungrateful scoundrels. Body o’ me! am I not your 
landlord? Is not this house mine ?—that is, so long as I pay rent for it 
to your dog of an heir, who, by-the-by, has got plenty of your miserly 
blood in his veins ;—it would be long before he would spare me in a 
single sixpence when quarter-day comes round, let times go how they 
would. But that’s neither here nor there ;—I let you have the use of 
this room without the charge of a farthing, and, soul of man! I'll go 
snacks in some of these good things, or out you bundle, bag and bag- 
gage. And, if you won’t go quietly, I'll fetch a parson, who shall 
ferret you out of the old hall as easily as my dog, Towser, would hunt 
me out a family of rats.’ / 
“It may be presumed the poor ghosts were put to a nonplus by the 
very excess of their astonishment, or they never could have heard this 
unwelcome harangue to the end. As it was, Mr. Barnaby had his full 
swing, when the steward rewarded his eloquence with so sound a knock 
on the mazard, that he measured his full-length on the floor, and, in his 
turn, began to feel the surprise he had inspired. But he had little time 
given him to reflect on this or any thing else ; one and all fell upon him 
as he lay there defenceless, the knights drubbing him with their gauntlet- 
ed fists, the more delicate coxcombs kicking him with their long-pointed 
shoes, and the females of the party scratching, pinching, and biting, with 
a fury that, however ludicrous it might have been to a looker-on, was, 
Heaven knows, a very serious matter to the unlucky devil suffering 
under the infliction. It was in vain that, one moment he consigned them 
all to a certain hot place, and the next roared out for mercy with the 
voice of a baited bull: they laughed at the one—probably as being a 
matter already settled, and not to be made worse by his wishes; and 
they only beat him so much the more furiously for the other. To just 
as little purpose was it that he kicked and struggled to get out of their 
merciless grasp ; they had not only the advantage of numbers on their 
side, but were individually the strongest, so that there was every pros- 
pect of his being beaten to a mummy, when his cries summoned Frank 
to his assistance, the only one of the party below who would venture again 
into the gallery. No sooner did the pugnacious ghosts hear the sounds of 
steps in the corridore, than they all fled, helter-skelter—the servants 
scrambling up the chimney, with the fragments of the supper—while 
their masters sneaked back again to their respective panels, and looked 
as staid and demure as if they had never moved from the wall, where 
the painter first placed them. 
<< Curse ye all!’ exclaimed the infuriated host ; ‘ who, to look at you, 
hanging there, with your sober, hypocritical faces, would fancy you 
could play a fellow such cantrips? But, as I live by bread, I'll sort you 
for it ; you shall be quiet enough for the time to come.’ 
« And forthwith he snatched up a bar from the fire-place, and pro- 
ceeded to assault the unlucky portraits with as much desperate determi- 
nation, as whilome Don Quixote evinced in his celebrated attack upon 
the windmills. Panel after panel cracked and splintered under the 
weight of his blows ;—here a face was split asunder,—there a nose was 
demolished ;—this lost a leg,—the other, an arm ;—and the work was 
still going on merrily when Frank made his appearance. 
