B36 Our Inquiring Correspondents. [Jaw 
Review, which, I fear, tended pretty much to the same purpose—and 
shall probably, to my life’s-end, continue to promote science and civi- 
lization by the great art of questioning. 
“ Your Magazine, Sir, has of late started into a style which brings 
popularity in its train, and which renders it, therefore, the more probable 
that, as ‘ among the multitude of counsellors there is safety, among the 
multitude of readers my queries may find answerers. J propose them 
seriatim, and shall wait in anxious expectation for the replies in your next 
month’s publication :— 
«« When will Parson Irving shave?—When will Iscariot Dawson 
decide whether he is a Papist or a Protestant ?—-When will Prince Leo- 
pold give a decent dinner, spend a fiftieth of his pension, disdain to sell 
his own gooseberries, and forget the difference between sixpence and six- 
pence-farthing >—When will Sir Robert Wilson’s newspaper-paragraphs 
and Tavern-harangues terrify the Premier into giving him back his 
commission >— When will a Jacobin cease to be a Jacobin ?—When will 
the difference between a stuff gown and a silk, make the difference 
between public scorn and public esteem?—When will a dandy hussar 
and a poet be fit to govern Ireland ?—When will a Popish priest refuse 
to give absolution for a Protestant burglary, burning, or murder ?— 
When will Dr. Doyle and J. K. L. say the same thing >—When will the 
Emperor of Knoutland get back a shilling in the pound for his powder 
and shot in the Turkish war, be the wiser for being beaten, or drink his 
coffee in Constantinople?>—When will O’Connel die in the field Pp— 
When will a Somerset-house exhibition produce a picture that any one 
living, except Watson Taylor, will think worth the price of its frame, at 
the close of the twelve calendar months ensuing >—When will a royal 
palace be built worthy of a better fate than a royal pig-stye, unless the 
only true mode of rewarding the vandalism ofroyal architects is resorted to? 
—When will the commander-in-chief of the army of Queen Caroline be 
the commander-in-chief of the army of King George? —When will Lord 
Norbury pun his last >—When will Lord Palmerston wear a face without 
a frown, Lord Dudley without a dimple, Lord Lansdowne without a 
languish, or Lord Holland with any thing ?—When will the Duke of 
Wellington invite all the editors of the London newspapers to Apsley- 
house, request their opinions upon his conduct, communicate his mea- 
sures for the session, and offer them seats in the cabinet >—When will 
the London magistrates discover that there is such a place as Crock- 
ford’s?—-When will a winter theatre pay sixpence a-year above its 
expenses, its creditors, and its Chancery-bills?—When will a country 
curate rival the income of a Bow-street runner, a bagman, a box-opener, 
or an orange-woman ?—When will our English dramatists be scribblers, 
drivellers, and dabblers no more ; draw from nature ; and leave French 
farces to the coxcombs that made them, and the coxcombs that they were 
made for >—When will a merchant think it necessary to begin with half- 
a-crown capital, or think it creditable to break for less than half a mil- 
lion ?—When will Judas Brownlow give proof that he has ever written 
a syllable of his harangues?—When will his Majesty’s Ministers open 
their eyes to poor Lord Nugent’s personal claims to office, the government 
of Bom-bay not being vacant ?—When will any man, except Lord W. 
Paget's re-electors, allow that swallowing one’s words is diet strong 
enough for an English constitution ?—When will any stockbroker be a 
-eurricle or a country-housethe less for a third appearance in the Gazette ? 
