1829.] Dick Denlap. 147 
Mr. Dewlap ; think, then, of the perplexity of a youhg lady, who is 
directed, as one of a hundred tasks equally easy, to ‘ place her two hands 
on her hips, raise the right leg and left arm as high as possible ; the arm 
a little bent, and the hand above the shoulder ; lower quickly the leg 
and the arm, placing the hand on the hip, and raising at the same time 
the left leg and the right arm.’ I protest, for my own part, after reading 
this singular jumble of legs, arms, hips, and shoulders, I hardly know 
whether I stand on my head or my heels ; what then must be the pre- 
dicament of a girl of sensibility, after she has takem her tutor’s advice, 
and ‘repeated the exercise several times with celerity ?’ Surely she can 
never survive to go through the fatigues of ‘ crossing and jumping,’ and: 
numberless ef ceteras. However, it is certain my poor cousins cannot 
do too much to strengthen digestions which have never been disturbed, 
and to keep down superfluous flesh, of which they have not the slightest. 
symptom.” 
Dick heard all this with profound attention, observing, that perhaps 
the young ladies, at my intercession, would impart to him some of the 
inestimable calistheric knowledge, for which it seemed they had so little 
use themselves; and this, he said, would be the more compassionate, as 
he would die sooner than go through a course of gymnastics, in the 
presence of a set of male monsters, who would probably scoff at his 
efforts of agility, as we may suppose so many monkeys would, if they 
could catch an elephant essaying a hornpipe. 
Dewlap now cordially gave me his arm; and as we walked towards 
the gardens, I primed him for his interview with the widow, by the 
information that she was not merely a femme savante in the general 
sense, but a particular connoisseur in painting ; and that, in this cha- 
racter she could not fail to be struck with that predominance of the 
curve (allowed by all artists to be the line of beauty) which was visible 
in every part of his comely outline; his plump cheeks, double chin, 
and the gentle protuberance he carried in front. Dick looked ruefully 
at the semicircle I had last described. “ Ah!” said he, with a sigh, 
«you'd hardly think what a perpetual torment I find this line of beauty, 
as you call it ; the line of Jack Ketch would be scarcely less welcome ; 
and, indeed, I did dream, the other night, that it had been the means of 
introducing me to an acquaintance with that worthy.” 
~ I could not help laughing at this nocturnal extravaganza, and asked: 
him the particulars. “I believe,” said Dick, “ my dream had a com- 
mencement rather tragical than uncommon ; for few people can acquit 
their consciences of having dreamed they were going to be hung, 
though I never could get any one to own that he also knew he had’ 
done enough to deserve the punishment. Unluckily for me, how 
ever, I had not even this consolation ; I thought I was to be hung for 
being too fat ; and so far was I from feeling shocked at the circum- 
stance, that I was only surprised how I had escaped so long. Though’ 
in Newgate, I was perfectly tranquil ; and received with resignation 
the intelligence that I was to be hung the following morning, the cause 
being, simply and solely, because two credible witnesses had sworn 
that, in their judgment, I was too fat to be allowed to live any longer. 
“ Still more at his ease, however, if possible,” continued Dewlap, “ was. 
Daniel Lambert, who was, I thought, my fellow prisoner, and to suffer 
in the same way, for a far weightier offence of the same unpardonable: 
description. As the kitchen (for, with a dreamer’s privilege, I imagined 
U2 
