1829.] Mine Hosts Last Story. 945 
closed his own sentiments regarding her. He said, ‘candidly, that 
though from the first he had admired her as a creature of a superior 
order, yet had he never felt for her anything beyond the tempered 
regard which sprang from such an intimacy towards such a character. 
‘I revered her innocence, her guileless and simple morality ; I liked her 
as my companion, I was grateful to her for her kindness in my behalf: 
but till the hour when, as a flash of lightning, the fact of her loving me 
burst upon me, it was my belief that she herself was incapable either of 
conceiving or of exciting that gentler interest which we term love. From 
that instant, however, I was perplexed between two opposite intentions 
—one, to leave your neighbourhood instantly, as I could not endure to 
see her pine with unreturned affection ; the other, to force a feeling 
which had not sprung up spontaneously, and render myself, by industry, 
worthy to be loved by such an admirable and perfect creature. The 
latter plan prevailed. I tutored myself into a state of factitious sentiment, 
so far as to believe that the love was not wholly on her side. Without 
deluding myself into the notion that my frame and sphere of character 
could ever be so elevated as her own, I yet thought I could return, by 
anxious services and attention, that fondness which she manifested for 
me ; and, therefore, in my weakness, I did not attempt to restrain the 
exhibitions of her sentiment, or destroy the opportunities for them, 
which were afforded to her by the absence of her sister. But that sister 
arrived at last, and I was undeceived. In a few moments I felt that my 
heart was still untouched. In a few moments I bowed to the fascina- 
tions of Madelena, and now, in a repentant season, I have resolved to 
_ quit a scene, where I must always be a torture to myself, and—far 
worse—to that angelic creature who gave me her virgin heart, and 
trusted in me. I have behaved, I know not how. Since the return of 
Madelena I have been in ceaseless agony. I go, I care not where ; but 
my prayer is, that I may not leave behind me one atom of the great 
mass of pain which will hang on my heart whithersoever I wander. 
Feign for me some reasonable excuse for departure. How could I bear 
to see again that innocent girl, and know that she is pouring out for me 
so many blessed wishes, and prayers, and hopes, which I am requiting 
by ingratitude—by base and villainous deceit? The sacrifice, were I 
now to offer her my hand, would be nothing ; but my conscience would 
not suffer her to be so abused. For ever will my purest thoughts turn 
to her as their origin, and my strongest benevolence strive for her as its 
object. But my heart—my wicked heart—points elsewhere—and she 
shall not be abused !’ 
« His story was completed. Again, and fervently he grasped my hand, 
as I sate in wonder and silence listening to so unexpected a narration. 
It was nearly for the last time. Shortly after he bade us adieu. I cannot 
describe the parting ; he had won all our hearts; and that night was 
the most dismal one we had had for years. He was to sail at daybreak. 
I got up early on the following morning, and, sauntering upon my ter- 
race, I made out clearly, on the western horizon, the white sail of the 
Spanish brig. He was gone ;—in that speck upon the ocean went his 
world of troubles. How many distracting thoughts were throbbing 
there! What a tumult, what an honourable conflict is waging in that 
bosom! Peace be with him, poor fellow! he has acted well ! 
* Such were my reflections (and my eyes were moistened as they rose 
within me), when I took a last farewell view of the diminishing sails of 
