468 Three Years at Cambridge. [May, 
majority at least) with their red faces and white waistcoats, the most 
picturesque and edifying contrasts. But to return more immediately to 
my subject. After the bottle had made a few rapid circuits round the 
table, the mauvaise honte of my guests disappeared, toasts were given— 
one of which, however acceptable to Sir J. Scarlett, would have given 
sore offence to the Rev. Mr. Cunningham — songs were sung ; stories 
prosed over; and olives voted nem. con. an invention worthy of divi- 
nity. But literature was on all hands proscribed. One deprecated 
the introduction of such a topic, on the plea that it gave him the head- 
ache ; another, fresh from school, yet felt the tingling of the birch on 
that particular part of his outer man to which schoolmasters never fail 
to apply for information on all doubtful points, and was therefore 
sore upon the subject ; while a third left all such stupid matters to the 
Sizars. Conversation meantime flowed on, when, suddenly, a pause en- 
sued owing to the defection of one of the party. Here was a flagrant 
act of mutiny! Luckily for the ends of justice the deserter was detected, 
brought back with all the honors of war, and condemned to drink a 
bumper of salt and water, which had such an immediate effect, that from 
sheer charity we were obliged to trundle him home in a wheel-barrow. 
The talk, which had hitherto rolled on quietly enough, now burst forth 
with a roar like that of Niagara: the hon. Gent. who was above the table 
begged leave to toast the hon. Gent. who was below it ; till, at last, when 
nothing more remained to drink, the whole party, with the exception of 
those who clung to the legs of the table, sallied forth in the direction of 
the Pease market. Here, as ill luck would have it, we encountered a 
half-dozen brace of snobs. To meet with such a gang and drub them 
is, at Cambridge, one and the same thing, and, accordingly we set-to 
with a heartiness that soon brought six of our party in abrupt collision 
with the earth. But the ery of “ gown, gown,” procured us a speedy re- 
inforcement ; detachments of two, three, and four, all belligerent, and 
one or two rather sober than otherwise, rushed forward to the scene 
of action; the counter cry of “ town, town,” gave the snobs a nearly 
equal accession of strength, and both parties kept up the engagement 
with Homeric spirit and dexterity. Just at this crisis, however, we were 
surprised by the appearance of the night proctor and his bull-dogs. 
Away scampered “ town” and “ gown,” each in an opposite direction ; 
some tumbled headlong into the sheep-pens ; others, after fathoming the 
exact depth of every gutter in their road, finished the night on one of 
those mud-heaps in which the purlieus of “ Jesus’ abound; and the _ 
majority were captured by the constables, but not till every alarm bell 
had been set in action, every bed-room window garnished with a night- 
cap, and the town seized with a universal paralysis from Parker’s Piece _ 
to Castle end. $ 
The next day I rose with an intense head-ache. My hand shook, 
my limbs quivered, my pulse fluttered, I was altogether a disjointed 
jumble of penitence, hypochondriasm, and sophistication. To make 
matters worse, a chivalrous testimonial of my prowess on the pre- _ 
ceding night, began to make its appearance on either optic in| the 
shape of a black eye. Pray, have any of my readers ever been fortunate 
enough to experience such an ornamental appendage to their outer man? 
If so, they will not fail to appreciate the full force of the satisfaction 
with which, on rising from my bed, and applying for information to my 
glass, I detected a wide discoloured circle, made up in equal portions of 
black and yellow; deepening gradually round each eye. As if this rain- 
a 
