616 
Classical Corrections. 
Alas! his old mouth may long water in vain, 
Who tries by this method a mistress to gain— 
A miss is the sure termination: 
For a maiden’s delight is to plague the old boy, 
And to think sixty-five not the period for joy ; 
Alas! all the sex are vexation. 
Daphne Brown had two eyes with the tenderest glances ; 
Her brain had been tickled by reading romances, 
And those compounds of nonsense called novels, 
Where Augustus and Ellen, or fair Isabel, 
With Romeo, in sweet little cottages dwell: 
Sed meo periclo, read hovels. 
She had toiled through Clarissa; Camilla could quote ; 
Knew the raptures of Werter and Charlotte by rote ; 
Thought Smith and Sir Walter extatic ; 
And as for the novels of Miss Lefanu, 
She dog’s-eared them till the whole twenty looked blue ; 
And studied The Monk in the attic. 
When her sire introduced our Apollo, he found 
The maiden in torrents of sympathy drowned— 
« Floods of tears” is too trite and too common: 
Her eyes were quite swelled—her lips pouting and pale ; 
For she just had been reading that heart-breaking tale, 
* Annabelle, or the Sufferings of Woman.” 
Apollo, Pll swear, had more courage than I, 
To accost a young maid with a drop in her eye ; 
Td as soon catch a snake or a viper : 
She, while wiping her tears, gives Apollo some wipes ; 
And when a young lady has set up her pipes, 
Her lover will soon pay the piper. 
Papa locked her up—but the very next night, 
With a cornet of horse, the young lady took flight : 
To Apollo she left this apology— 
“That, were she to spend with an old man her life, 
She would gain, by the penance she’d bear as a wife, 
A place in the next martyrology.” 
Apollo gave chase, but was destined to fail ; 
The female had safely been lodged in the mail, 
Now flying full speed to the borders : 
So the doctor, compelled his sad fate to endure, 
Came back to his shop, commissioned to cure 
All disorders but Cupid’s disorders. 
[JuNE, 
W.C.T. 
