1826.] Calamities of a Clerk. 41 
jests, during their intervals of beer and cheese, were occasionally 
directed against my parchment face, or ink-tipped fingers. 
_ Whilst alluding to the London Docks, I cannot resist making a little 
digression, which may beguile for a moment both the reader’s tedium 
and my own pains of memory. Some years after the time of which I 
k, many and loud complaints were made by commercial people of 
he exorbitant shipping charges, or dues, extorted by the company owning 
those docks. One of our clerks, during a few minutes of unaccountable 
leisure, produced a scrap of counting-house wit in the following 
EPIGRAM 
ON THE LONDON DOCK COMPANY. 
“ Oh! how that name befits my composition.”—_SHAKSPEARE. 
° “ Dock Company!” choice name! and best 
: Of characteristic off-hits ! 
For merchants, by its dues opprest, 
Are dock'd of half their profits. 
But to return to my sad story. Harassing as were the details of my 
employment during the other four days of the commercial six, they were 
actually light in comparison with what I had to struggle and perspire 
through on the two foreign post-days, Tuesday and Friday. At these 
times, the Messieurs Gladwin were more than usually surly, and Mr. 
Makeweight more than usually bustling and directive ; while I, after 
such a merciless fatigue of copying by candle-light, as must have made 
me look like a false copy, as it were, of myself, was posted off to the Post 
Office, frequently at the hour of midnight, minus three minutes, which 
hree minutes were to suffice for the transit from our counting-house in 
Crutched Friars, to Lombard Street. I was thus required to unite the 
ification of running legs to that of a running hand ; and if sometimes 
[ failed to buffet through the opposing crowd before the fatal exclusive 
chime of the official dial, my return with the heap of letters was sure to 
be met with a still greater heap of reproofs. 
_ In this manner did I drudge through the first three months of my 
clerkship, being the period during which it had been arranged that I 
_ should remain “upon trial.” I had experienced it to be not only trial, 
but punishment at the same time. I had discovered that a counting- 
ew fag was far worse than a being of that syllable at school; and, 
under my persuasion of this, added to a feeling of indignation not yet 
( by the effects of office, I had well nigh resolved that my labours 
ould terminate with the above stipulated probation, and that, in going 
y, I would take care to tell Messrs. Gladwin and Co. “ my mind,” 
writing them a special letter. 
. “In ignominious terms, though clerkly couched.” 
But a hea was of another way of thinking, and nullified this inten- 
tion. 
‘ 
e had, perhaps, the largest share ever known of that persuasion 
unchangeably, by some tradespeople, that the state of a 
r 8 clerk is something of a superior order, something to be 
pee with an upward eye, as being at once important and genteel. 
had acted upon this prejudice, and was not likely to see through it 
M.M. New Series —Vou.VI. No. 31. G 
