242 Travelling Particularities : [Sepr. 
and disagreeables attendant on the ordinary mode of getting from the 
capital by land to the coast, &c. Not that these are the least worth 
attending to, where time and money are not material objects of con- 
sideration in forming the plan of any given journey in search of amuse- 
ment ; because, if these little (so called) inconveniences—such as the 
changes of coaches, coachmen, &c.—the stoppages at inns—the delay of 
a night at the place of embarkation—the getting on board the packet in 
the morning—and so forth—if these are not the actual pleasures of 
travelling, they are at least the things which lead to and enhance them. 
But to our supposed traveller time and money are material points. He 
will therefore, of course, choose the only sure means of reaching his first 
resting-place in a given time, and for a fixed sum—namely, twelve hours, 
and thirty-three shillings. In naming this price, however, we are 
paying him the somewhat ill compliment of supposing, that, under the 
imaginary circumstances of the case, he will be foppish enough to spend 
eleven shillings extra, for the privilege of passing an imaginary line on 
the deck of the vessel which he is to quit in the afternoon of the day on 
which he enters it. On this point he will of course consult his own 
‘taste. 
The morning half of this little voyage slips away swifty and pleasantly 
enough, in looking at the innumerable objects upon, and on either side 
‘of, the river, as you descend it ; and the afternoon part, if it hangs a 
little as you are looking out in vain (and at length not in vain) for the 
new scene to which you are bound, is at least filled up by thoughts, 
feelings, and fancies, that are not without their after use and value. 
Our traveller will enter the harbour of Calais at about five o’clock— 
having breakfasted on board, but having (if he be wise) reserved his 
dinner appetite till he can gratify it safely on dry land. As the steamer 
ploughs its way into the harbour between the two interminable wooden 
jetties of which the said harbour, in fact consists, his attention will per- 
haps be attracted by the noble appearance of some of the French seamen ; 
and he will not readily divine how such a race of men can have been 
held in utter contempt (and with impunity too) for a long series of years. 
He will, in fact, now for the first time recognise, in a real sailor, that 
beau-idéal of one, which he has hitherto met with only in the person of _ 
Mr. T. P. Cooke, as Long Tom, or Jack Handspike, at the Cobourg or 
Adelphi theatres. 
On the vessel at length laying herself up alongside the pier, these, and 
all other specific reflections, feelings, and ideas whatsoever, will at once 
be put to flight, or confounded inextricably one with another, by the 
utter confusion attendant on a hundred and fifty persons trying to get 
ashore by any means they can, while half as many are trying all means of 
preventing them from:so doing, except under particular regulations and 
restrictions. It is the business of the packet people to see that you do 
not set your foot off the deck till you have a second time proved to them 
(by producing your receipts, &c.) that you have paid your passage. On 
‘getting past them, and mounting the ladder, it is the business of the hotel 
keepers’ agents to prevent you from putting more than one foot on shore 
till you have openly and audibly made your election, as to which among _ 
them you will choose to be fleeced by. When you have escaped from 
nine-tenths of these, by throwing yourself in despair into the hands of 
one or two, it becomes the business of certain ragged little vagabonds, 
calling themselves “ commissioners,” to disburthen you, by main force, of 
