1831 J IJodgings in the Strand. 51 



a week, and perhaps I am the occupant. Is not my popularity accounted 

 for? Add to these presumptive attractions, the evident ones of exterior 

 and manners ; my outside is unobjectionable, thanks also to my "credit- 

 able " residence ; and, from my conversation, it is very evident that I am 

 neighbour to King Charles, who bestrides the " high horse" at our end 

 of " the Strand," and this, believe me, goes a great way. In these facts 

 simply, lies the mystery. 



But the course of good fortune never did, for a continuance, run 

 smooth. A storm, some time ago, impended over me, that I foresaw not, 

 in proper time to avert ; although appearances, for one entire fortnight, 

 loudly proclaimed it. These were attentions the most marked from all my 

 friends, who seemed simultaneously affected with a violent attachment to 

 my person and society. Among those of the first class, I became, tout-d-cuup, 

 a "devilish good-hearted fellow," ''my worthy friend," and " the best crea- 

 ture in the Avorld." Half-a-dozen breakfasts a morning I usually had on 

 my hands, and had eggs been bantlings. Professor Malthus might have 

 " grinned a ghastly smile" of satisfaction, to view the Saturnean feats I 

 was compelled to perform. But it was in the second class tliat 1 had the 

 most overpowering tokens of affection to encounter ; nothing could be 



done without " dear Mr. 's " advice and co-operation. — " Mamma 



was so angry that i\Ir. did not dine with them yesterday." — " Emily, 



Fanny, Jane, and Polly were an desespoir last evening, not to have their 



favourite Mr. among them." " Major Bottleblossom vented his spleen 



upon the claret and madeira, in the absence of his friend ]\Ir. .'' 



In fact, so warm had the young ladies become in their attentions, and 

 so Avell-favoured did I appear in the sight of those in authority over them, 

 that I began, for the first time in my life, to entertain serious notions of 

 matrimony. It was evident that I had only to throw the handkerchief 

 to secure my sultana among a hundred eager candidates for the distinc- 

 tion ; there were the five Misses Bottleblossoms, daughters of the gallant 

 major before mentioned; the three Misses Skshemall, an eminent 

 surgeon's lovely brood ; the pretty Fanny Syllabub ; the four honourable 

 Misses Rustaway ; the three extraordinary Misses Cockletip; my Hterary 

 friend iMademoiselle Aubifoin, Avho had about six months previous come 



" O'er the deep waters of the dark blue sea," 



on a visit to my two singing friends, the clear-throated Misses Huski- 

 son. Shall I forget the beautiful Sally Wimple > when I do, I must 

 forget excellence of all kinds. These do not form a sixth of my 

 list, but they are the most prominent, as being most capable of support- 

 ing the dignity of my " lodgings in the Strand." And now the diffi- 

 culty was to decide : the last-mentioned was my favourite, but the five 

 first had each some thousands of arguments in her favour more than any 

 of the others ; they had obtained " golden opinions" from many 

 persons, and, as a philosoplier, I felt bound to distinguish sterling merit, 

 even though it ))resented itself under an unfavourable aspect. Three 

 niglits, on my return to my lodgings, did I sit for four hours inwardly 

 debating this knotty question. The competition now lay exclusively 

 between Angelica Celestina Bottleblossom, the youngest of the five — 

 for six years aged five-and-twenty— and tiie fascinating Sally, scarcely 

 seventeen. On the fourth night I liad something else to think of. 



" Well, girls," said Major Bottleblossom, entering tiie breakfast- 

 room, where Mm. B. and the five Imds were assembled, with a news- 



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