154 " My Wife!" [August>. 



I said, that I would paint her portrait and then tell my story ; I 

 >ave finished my pen-and-ink sketch ; and my story will bring me to 

 the end of my paper. The adventure arose out of that incessant and 

 amiable anxiety for my health which I cannot too much admire — or 

 lament. 



" People cannot be too careful of themselves, particularly at this try- 

 ing season. Now do take it^ dear L." 



" Oh! no, it will be quite unnecessary." 



" You are so careless. Who is to nurse you if you catch cold ? Now, 

 oblige me by taking it — you had better." 



'' Ridiculous ! How can you press it upon me when I say so positively 

 that I don't want it. I never heard of such a thing, and it would be 

 really absurd." 



" Not so absurd as your refusal. I can't conceive why you should 

 make so many scruples — Avhen it's all for your own good. I'm sure 

 you'll catch cold. You know your cough is very bad already — there, 

 it's coming on now ; it will spoil all the folds of }'our cravat before 

 dinner. Pray oblige me ; be reasonable and put it in your pocket. 

 Well, it's veiy teasing of you — I'm sure you might as well.'' 



The article which was so assiduously and tenderly pressed upon my 

 attention, but which I perseveringly declined accepting, was by no means 

 a romantic one. It was not one of those infallible and heaven-invented 

 restoratives for which all females — but elderly ones especially — are so 

 deservedly celebrated. It was neither charm nor cordial : no, it was 

 nothing more or less than — a nightcap! The dialogue took place just as 

 I was on the point of going out to dinner, alone, for the evening was 

 wet, and " my wife" for once hesitated to share the horrors which she saw 

 accumulating round my head. It was too late to send an excuse ; I 

 was obliged to go — " my wife" insisting tliat I should not think, under 

 any circumstances, of returning home through the niglit-air, but that I 

 should make up my mind to take a bed at my friend's. Having without 

 much difficulty gained this point, she pertinaciously petitioned for 

 another ; and ever watchful for an opportunity of exercising the privi- 

 leges of a guardian-angel, insisted on my taking with me my nightcap. 

 Vainly did I assure her that it was unnecessary ; that where I found a 

 pillow I should find a cap ; or in the event of the worst, that I should 

 still be able to hit upon some means of protecting my temples from cold, 

 and my curls from disorder. I was set down for a visionary, a rash, 

 thoughtless enthusiast. " Besides," said my amiable torturer, " even if 

 you should find a cap upon the pillow, which, considering the uncertainty 

 of this life, does not appear more than probable ; but even if you 

 should, it may not be aired as it ought to be. As for trusting to chance 

 I own I am surprised at your imprudence. A dependence upon provi- 

 dential interference is a becoming feeling in some cases, but not in this, 

 when the means of averting calamity are already in your power. Now 

 take it without another word — here it is, as white " 



" As your arm." 



" Nonsense ! But besides all the reasons I have staled, I must confess 

 that I should not like you to wear any but your own natural nightcap. 

 You would look like somebody else in another, and I should have 

 unpleasant dreams. I should see you approach in an odious caricature 

 of a cap ; not in a nice, neat, becoming ornament like this. I'm sure I 

 never saw a more graceful head-dress, considering its shape. Oh, I 

 can't bear the thought of your wearing another. — If you love me, if you 



