282 The Steam-Boat ; a Paper of my Uncle s. [Sept. 



spacious realm between them, were intertwined and resting on the edge 

 of his abdominal protuberance. The forepart of his cravat, which was 

 barely visible elsewhere, and not above an inch in width, was absolutely 

 buried underneath the volumes of his double chin ; and, as his head re- 

 clined against his shoulder, the pressure gave his mouth the shape and 

 property of a spout, by which the aqueous saliva, attendant on a heavy 

 sleep, was bounteously effused into his waistcoat pocket. ]\Ir. Lark was 

 now entranced in the luxury of a sixteenth doze since morning ; and yet, 

 so strange are the conclusions of mankind, that nothing could have led 

 him to believe himself a man of sleepy habits, because he made a point 

 of rising about four — to quit his bed that he might seek for easy spots 

 elsewhere, on which to take his quantum of repose, by different instal- 

 ments. With a strength of tmderstanding, which a nature over-kind 

 sometimes subjected to suspicion, he comprised the essence of all good 

 affections, was a merry entertaining oddity — when wakeful ; beloved by 

 every one ; the donor of good feasts, the easy dupe of any rogue who 

 chose to practise on his confidence : in fine, a mass of charity, sensibility, 

 and drollery — but devilshly disposed (as he himself observed) to nod a 

 little. His lady was a tall sharp- visage female, as erect and formal as a 

 Prussian grenadier. Indeed, their union seemed an attestation of the 

 adage, that marriages are made in heaven ; for the mere Providence of 

 earth could never have combined such lean elongation with such 

 rotundity of fat — such vigilance of constitution with such indomitable 

 somnolence. If the Ashantees had taken such a prize, their cooks 

 would have assumed the rigid, iron figure of the wife, as a spit especially 

 designed, whereon to roast the vast dimensions of her lord. 



At length, we had evidently started. A few large steam-drops fell like 

 rain — the whole fabric of the vessel trembled — the dashing paddles 

 spiu'ned the foam behind and sideways — the smaller craft upon the river 

 were gradually rocked into a state of oscillation — the passengers, with 

 rare exceptions, gathered into silent groups — the captain, on the paddle- 

 case, with an experienced and anticipating eye, directed us through the 

 intricacies of our passage, thi-ough the numerous obstructions which neg- 

 ligence or ignorance, and often imprudence, would cast before us. The 

 helmsman was a picture of attention. — I pitied him. He was molested, 

 when thus responsibly engaged, by the trifling queries of a cockney, as 

 to weather and the time oi" our arrival. He was armed, however, v/ith 

 a curt reply and a repulsive manner, which effectually stopped the pro- 

 gress of interrogation. He suffered one infliction only from the stately 

 ]\Ir. Gobbleton, who asked him, when tlie dinner would be ready ? "I 

 a'n't the cook. Sir," was the laconic answer. 



My old friend Peregrine, who knew my love of " character," began 

 the series of that day's speculation. — " It is clear to me, but what think 



you ? whom and what should you suppose that dark man forward ? 



Him I mean with the aquiline nose — who is rather pock-marked ; ap- 

 parently, too, the mirth of his surrounding friends." The person so 

 denoted was no ordinary character — he had buck-shins, knock-knees, 

 large splay-feet with bulging bunyans, which his boots could hardly 

 hold within their custody. His coat was of a glossy green, with great 

 gold basket-buttons, his vest of variegated velvet-cut, its every flower, 

 in magnitude, surpassing life ; a metal chain suspended from his neck, 

 and carefully disposed into a labyrinth of intersections and festoons, 

 was fastened to an ample gaudy watch, as many-handed as the famed 



