286 The Steam-Boat ; a Paper of my Uncle's. [Sept. 



and profusely placed before the mixed society. The less refined hun- 

 garians, with all the purpose of our national voracity, were fain to make 

 a triple visitation to the masses of their ordinary fare. Mr. Gobbleton, 

 with unremitting ardour, swallowed plate on plate — incessantly regard- 

 ing, " with an eye askance/' the rapid diminution of the various dishes — 

 and performing acts of masterly despatch on peas, with the edgewise 

 end of an expanded knife, w hich few could have accomplished with a 

 spoon. Pagnnini on the fiddle ! Lindley on the violoncello ! Puzzi on 

 the horn ! agreed ; — but for eating peas and gravy with a knife, the 

 father of the Gobbletons distinctly had it — " all the world to nothing !" 



JMiss Jack had " cut her jokes" on ]\Ir. Botherby's pj-obuscis, on Major 

 O'Gorman's brogue, and had nearly disconcerted the voluble chatterbox 

 and the modest assurance of the gallant officer, by the thunderbolts of 

 her unjustifiable presumption. She found a capital antagonist, however, 

 in the only character that seemed precisely qualified to meet so privi- 

 leged and diflicult an enemy. And this was no other than the eldest 

 Gobbleton ; who having, in the ardour of repast, upset a tumbler and its 

 contents on IMiss Jack's fine gown, was called " an odious greedy-gut !" 

 and told, she had a mind " to slap his face I" which really made that 

 hideous portion of the petted pest to colour so with rage, that had the 

 blow been given instead of menaced merely, it was hardly possible that 

 its consequent suffusion could have surpassed the rubicund expression 

 of his full-blown ire ! Master Gobbleton could hardly speak from pas- 

 sion ; but, running to his mother, pointed with extended arm to the 

 incensed maiden, crying, when he gained his speech, which he reco- 

 vered with a gulp. " ]\Iaa ! that there ugly old woman, says she'll 

 smack my face!" — " My pretty !" said Mrs. G., hugging the frightful 

 nuisance in her arms, " if she does, you give he?- a smack in hem." — 

 " That I will," said Master G. The rage of the hostile parties threw 

 the company into convulsions ; when. Miss Jack, about to leave the 

 cabin, and looking hard at JVIajor O'Gorman, who had led the laugh, said, 

 " Ah ! one fool makes many I" — " Pray, ]\Iadam," said the IMajor, " be 

 az}', why would you reduce our number by laving such conganial com- 

 pany ?" — " Capital !" said Mr. Botherby. — " Who spoke to ijou ?" said 

 Miss Jack, "now you may pay for your dinner yomself," said she, de- 

 parting with a flounce, as Master Gobbleton, still pointing at her, called 

 out " Spitfire !" 



The scene was relished by a gentleman whose countenance developed 

 a rich and humourous capacity. He seemed to laugh internally. He 

 was attended by his servant, who had placed before him a slice of cold 

 fried Severn salmon and a cucumber, which still retained its flower and 

 bloom ; the succeeding plat was served in silver, with a lamp beneath 

 the dish, and seemed to every sensible perception a vension-hash, to 

 which the classical Apician drank a glass or two of Romance. Tiie rear 

 of the repast was closed with some Sardinias, confites a I'huile, with 

 which the skilful epicure drank hock. With the addition of some mon- 

 strous red-skinned filberts, a bottle of fine old oleose Paxarete, and a 

 pocket Horace, the fastidious gourmand appeared to revel in the fulness 

 of corporeal and mental satisfaction. A reserved and supercilious cler- 

 gyman, who ate a biscuit and drank some soda-water with some sherry, 

 was the only one above the folly of the scene. The reverend pomposo 

 exhibited the gravity of cold abstraction ; as if insensible to all around 

 him. His lucubrations were confined to the consistent tracts of Dr. 



