1831.] The Steam-Boat; a Paper of my Uncle's. 287 



Pliilpotts, whose accommodating zeal and flexible sincerity should be 

 the everlasting study of ambitious churchmen ! 



An elegant gentleman of vast pretensions, in a most soprano accent^ 

 called the steward for a spoonful of brandy in some water. " Heavens, 

 fellow!" said the exquisite, '•' I meant a tea-spoon; you'll absolutely- 

 bum out my internals !" — " And give me another, stronger than the 

 last," said a fat man of sixty, who looked like a cargo of caloric. '' How 

 many does that make}" — " Seventeen, Sir," said the steward. " Well !" 

 (with a thundering curse) " anything's better than an atrophy ;" and he 

 cast a sneering look on the slender dimensions of the water-drinker. 



When Sir. G. and his descendants had gone to the extreme of their 

 ability, an agonizing fact transpired, which none but lovers of roast 

 ducks, like Mr. G., can fairly estimate. Four birds of that description, 

 with every savoury appurtenance, appeared ; but all the G.'s were ut- 

 terly incapable. The father protested it was quite an imposition ; he pre- 

 ferred a duck to any thing, and what was meant by bringing them when 

 every one had done .'' A gentleman or two, whose time had not been so 

 assiduously occupied as that of the devouring family, appeared to greet 

 this suitable supply, and, in addition to the pain of being totally disabled, 

 the Gobbletons beheld, with pangs unspeakable, the enjoyments which 

 they could not share. 



As Mr. Botherby advanced in liquor, so he advanced in marvellous 

 adventures and recitals ; and the peace of the day was nearly disturbed 

 by the vociferous rudeness of an attorney's clerk, who, as he was going 

 on a journey at the expense of his matter's client, had gotten drunk and 

 impudent, and incessantly responded at the end of every wonderful 

 narrative of Mr. Botherby's — " Walker !" This indecency was noticed 

 on three or four occasions, with a supercilious sneer ; but the youth was 

 too much accustomed professionally to contempt, to heed the contumely 

 of a burning nose ; and when the indefatigable INIr. B. had uttered, with 

 unusual brilliance, one of his crack jokes, his indignation may be 

 imagined at the ungovernable clerk's exclaiming, " Page 45 !" This 

 reiterated insult would have drawn on the offender the instant chastise- 

 ment of IMr. Botherby ; but his purpose was suspended by a crash of 

 distant thunder, which brought the two beUigei-ents to instant reason. 

 In a second, the clerk was on his knees, in prayer. The other passen- 

 gers looked one another mutely in the face. 



I went on deck and saw the aspect of the heavens, and sea, and land, 

 completely changed. The distant hills were veiled with mist ; the clear 

 blue sky obscured by rolling masses of black cloud occasionally edged 

 with stormy white, from which you might, at times, discern the slight- 

 est flickering of lightning, followed by a shattered clap of obviously 

 approaching thunder. The sea had lost its gay, calm, gilded green, 

 and now reflected the portentous darkness brooding over it ; the waves 

 began to whisper with their spray ; their crest grew larger, and a 

 shower of scanty drops, as large as bullets, splashed aiutibly and 

 visibly upon the water. It ceased and was succeeded by a low and 

 lingering murmur ; when, for a moment, air and ocean both were 

 hushed, as if to gather strength for the impending conflict. The vessel 

 heaved and staggered, as she met the fierce succession of the billows — 

 simultaneously a livid sheet of lightning flashed up(m the dark expanse 

 of cither element — a volumed poal of tlumder, with augmenting cla- 

 mour, rattled onward to the boat, its distant echoes rolling round the 



