620 Too Early: [Dec. 



that this is another of my too eai'ly adventures ; but — live and learn — 

 live and learn !" — and in this pious resolution he sat himself down, and 

 endeavoured to console himself with the racing- calendar till his lordship 

 should arrive. 



At about half-past five that happy event took place. — " God bless 

 me !" exclaimed my Lord Spanker, — " you are punctual indeed ! Who 

 would have thought of your being here so very early \" — and then, 

 before he had time to go through the usual compliments and ceremonies, 

 a servant entered, and presented his master with a note. 



" Deuce take it !" exclaimed Lord Spanker, after having read it, — 

 " how unfortunate ! This billet is from the ministerial whipper-in, and 

 he says that I am wanted tat the House without a moment's delay, as 

 the division is expected to come on directly. — How very unfortunate !" 



" Pray don't stand on any ceremony with me," quoth Purvis. 



" How very good you are !" said my lord — " just like your respected 

 father ! — But, at all events, I can do something for you. JMy carriage is 

 at the door ; can I set you down any where .^" 



" No where, thank your lordship ; I have — ahem ! — I have several 

 friends in this neighboiu'hood ; so I will not detain your lordship 

 another moment." 



And then, after a thousand flowery excuses, his lordship allowed his 

 guest to withdraw — dinnerless — and more and more convinced of the evil 

 of being " too early." 



. But, still, there was the evening to be got rid of. What should he 

 do with it? Ha! — a lucky thought ! He would go to the theatre — 

 whither, indeed, he had predestined himself when his lordship's invita- 

 tion was found by him at the Swan-with-Two-Necks. 



As he trudged down Oxford-street, he stopped at his old ally — a 

 pastry-cook's ; and while they were putting half-a-dozen bath-buns into 

 paper for him, he took an opportunity of reading the play-bills — 

 " Doors open at half-past six — performance to begin at seven." 



" Very well," cried he to himself; " now in this there can be no mis- 

 take — for I have often read of the house being crowded with the first 

 rush, and of people waiting for hours befoi'e the doors opened: so, egad, 

 I will hurry there with my best speed, that I may secure a good 

 place." 



By dint of a smart, Yorkshire, rattling pace, he contrived to arrive at 

 Drury Lane by six o'clock ; and, as he had heard that it was to the pit 

 that all the critics and good judges went, he resolved to go there too, in 

 the hope of picking up some valuable remarks to go hand in hand with 

 the play. But when he arrived at the pit-door, there was scarcely a 

 soul to be seen that appeared to be waiting for admission. — There was 

 something very odd in this ! He had expected to see hundreds, and 

 there was not a score. What could it all mean? It was certainly the 

 pit-door, for he saw the words written up; it was certainly Drury Lane, 

 for he had made his acquaintance with it in the morning, as a prelude 

 to his visit in the evening. Then what could the present desertion por- 

 tend ? The play of " Pizarro," and the afterpiece of the " JMiUer and 

 his Men," ought in his opinion to have atti-acted half London : they 

 must be popular, for he had heai-d of both of them nearly as long as he 

 could remember. What, then, could it all mean ? He looked about for 

 some congenial face that might win him into addressing a stranger, for 

 the purpose of obtaining an explanation ; but he saw none that looked 



