622 Too EarJif. [Dec. 



" Never mind him, my lively," said the policeman ', " 1 have caught 

 you, and that is something: so just please to walk yourself along with 

 me to the station-house." 



" But I haven't got the watch," puffed Mr. Purvis. 



" That remains to be seen," replied the man in blue, with 131 on his 

 collar : " so just come along, will you ?" 



" What, without the thief?" 



" Come, come, master," quoth the officer, " this won't do. I don't 

 think any one that looks in your face will say that we are without the 

 thief." 



Mr. Purvis, finding that all remonstrance was vain, accompanied his 

 ciistos to tlie station-house, where he was treated with a detail of his own 

 loss before he was allowed to say a word for himself. At length, when 

 there seemed to be a slight cessation in the plot, he managed to be heard 

 thus far — " But it is I, gentlemen, that have lost the watch, after all." 



" Ha ! ha ! ha !" laughed the inspectoi- — " that's pretty well, how- 

 ever. I'll tell you what, my fine fellow, if the tribe of pickpockets 

 should ever elect a king, and impudence should be the qualification, 

 you'll carry the day against the field — I'U pound it." 



" Say what you will," exclaimed our hero, " it is I that have lost the 

 watch ; but as I see what sort of justice I am to have here, I beg to 

 wish you good night." 



" Not so fast — not so fast, my worthy," cried the inspector ; " you've 

 got to be searched yet ; and, when that's over, we've a delightfully 

 comfortable black-hole for you, where you may pass the night free, 

 gratis, for nothing." 



Master Henry Purvis was pretty nearly at the height of despair at this 

 announcement, when his good star seemed for once to predominate. 

 The constable, whose warning voice in the pit-lobby had reminded him 

 to see whether his property was safe, just at this moment entered the 

 station-house, and confirmed his statement that he was the robbee — not 

 the robber; — upon which IMaster Henry Purvis was graciously permitted 

 to take his departure. He did not, however, go without vowing teu 

 thousand vengeances for the scurrilous manner in which he had been 

 treated. 



" I wonder you should complain," said the constable who stood his 

 friend. 



" What !" cried Purvis, " have I not been taken up as the thief .^" 



" That shews our vigilance." 



" Plave I not been threatened with the black-hole ?" 



" That shews our determination." 



" Was I not told that I looked like a thief.?" 



" That shews our penetration." 



" And have I not Ijeen robbed of my watch ?" 



" Oh, sir, as to that," quoth the constable, — " what can gentlemen 

 expect if they will come too early to the theatre !" 



This last reply quite silenced IMaster Henry Purvis. He had been a 

 day in town, and, quite satisfied with the experiment, he resolved to 

 return to Yorkshire by the next morning's coach. Dinner-less, Lord- 

 Spanker-less, watch-less, Drury-lane-less, the events of that single day 

 gave occupation to his thouglits for many, many months ; and, indeed, 

 to the very end of his life it was one of his most constant resolutions — 

 that nothing in the whole world should ever again tempt him to be " too 

 early." G. 



