1831.] Affairs in General. 671 



no one else in the room knows any thing of it. That the boy opens his 

 mouth, and that the sounds at each answer seem to come from his mov- 

 ing lips, we can testify." 



In this world of politics and politicians, it is a very delicate thing to 

 speak of rats ; but we, treating the subject as a mere matter of natural 

 history, may escape giving offence to any gentleman of upwards of two 

 thousand a year pension, and under the dignity of a privy counciller. 

 It is not our purpose here to enlarge on the physical distinctions be- 

 tween the rat natural and the rat political — the rat of the cellar and the 

 rat of the cabinet — the grubber in the joists of our houses, the gnawer 

 of the pillars of the state. We shall simply proceed in our narrative, 

 premising that if the rats in question had been political, they would not 

 have given so much trouble to catch ; for nothing is a more decided 

 volunteer in the art of being caught than the regular St. Stephen's breed. 

 The engineer on the present occasion, too, was uof a first lord of the trea- 

 sury, but a Sussex farmer. He pi-ocured a sugar-hogshead, poured 

 about five inches of water into it, and in the centre placed a brick. 

 He then covered the top with a piece of parchment, on which he 

 placed enticing food for the rats. Here they feasted themselves for 

 a few days, when he made several openings in the parchment, suf- 

 ficiently large for a rat to drop through. The baits being again laid, no 

 sooner did one rat get on the parchmeut then he fell into the water. He 

 of course swam to the brick, where he moaned most piteously. 



So many men have been ruined by parchment, that we are not sur- 

 prised at its proving deadly to rats ; but we own that the use of the 

 brick puzzled us at first : however, it had its use, — it acted as a rostrum, 

 a post of public appeal to the sympathies of the race ; and with pretty 

 nearly the regular result of those displays, it brought all the answerers 

 of the appeal into a scrape. The whole community of rats were 

 alarmed, and their curiosity led them in great numbers to the spot. 

 They got on the parchment head, where they had often before been, 

 and in they dropped in quick succession. Now came the sport. There 

 being only one brick in the hogshead, a war ensued for its possession. 

 They fought most desperately, and the longer the battle continued the 

 greater became the number of forces, for all the rats about the premises 

 ran to see what Avas the matter, and sharing the fate of those who pre- 

 ceded them, dropped into the hogshead. The war lasted some hours, 

 and was not quite silenced even by the morning. ,' 



In other words, the debate lasted long — the possession of the chair was 

 vigorously contested, the whole assembly expressed their opinions in 

 succession, and in the most unequivocal manner, and the division did 

 not take place until a late hour in the morning. The Sussex farmer re- 

 commends the invention to all mankind. 



The pamphleteers are all on the alert. The three grand subjects — the 

 Cholera, the Burkings, and the Church, share the brilliancy of the 

 modern pen ; and unless we have a war, an earthquake, or two Lord 

 Mayor's days in the year, we shall go on, trusting to the same subjects 

 to the end of the chapter. But there is a division of labour in those 

 things, and the wits have taken the church for their especial province. 

 What can be more refined, yet more forcible, than the following plea- 

 santry, in a pamphlet just issued, and entitled " The Church, the 

 whole Church, and nothing but the Clunch.''" 



