1826.] Cheerfulness of Sextons. 413 
moment in, aivery odd way; not having at,that period of my life been able 
to: boast even of one-fifth part of the old man’s Jate possessions, . 
Joltseemed.to|be a trick of the old man’s calling to dwell on matt "sof 
this: kind; and L almost fancied. he married. five wives for the chance of 
seeing, their fiye|,violet-covered graves, ranged in neat and becoming 
order;in the chosen spot of all his.contemplations, I indulged in a little 
further parley, with this humorous rogue, and then bade him farewell; but 
- notebefore’ he had gathered me a violet off each of the five graves, and 
placed them firmly m my button-hole. he 
boaThereowas,old,,Tom,,P » a merry old rogue, who not only dug 
grayes.and. composed. the dead, but.also peeped at Parnassus, and: com- 
posed: epitaphs—composed to, order, Besides this, he always used to 
keep.a stock.on hand; containing tributes to more virtues than any man, 
woman, or. child) ever, possessed, and sold them at, two-pence per line. 
Tom, was a yery; mighty man in his way, and all the wit of the village 
flowed either from his tongue or his inkstand. If John Milton had been 
half so celebrated. as a poet during his life, it would have well nigh turned 
his brain, or any other brain a degree weaker than that of the yillage 
oet. 
fi Tom had never dreamt of Lindley Murray’s two tomes of English 
grammar, and: had never heard of the existence of the science which 
they taught :, I cannot therefore say he set them at defiance; certain it 
is he never cherished that branch of human attainment. eS 
I was sitting in his chimney corner one day, enjoying his sharp uncouth 
humour, when, after a slight knock at the door, a widow-like looking 
personage, dressed in deep. mourning, lifted the latch and made her 
appearance amongst us. ‘Tom was in full expectation of a job, and after 
bowing a most:reverential and obsequious. bow, and handing the lady a 
chair, he sat quietly turning up the whites of his eyes in steady antici- 
pation of his orders. be 23h 
» «Mr. P. ;’ said the widow in a whining, tremulous tone, “TI want 
anjepitaph tothe memory of my poor dear man:—you know he was a 
tender kind-hearted lamb to me,’—(“ He was a tiger,” muttered Tom.) 
“and I, want.something that will explain the character,—(“ He had 
none that will bear explanation,” said he in a whisper,) -« You know 
Mr. P » proceeded the lady; ‘“ he was charitable, affectionate, 
sober, religious—in short, he was”—here she managed to squeeze out her 
first tear. age 
Vil fit him immediately ma’am,” interrupted Tom: « in the mean 
time, ma’am; please to run your eye over these patterns,” handing her 
a greasy dogs-eared MS, volume, “ and if none of those will do—TI will 
make him.a staye on purpose.” The widow turned and turned again—read 
and re-read—but there was nothing amongst the sample that answered 
the  threbbing. of her sensitive heart; at length she closed the volume 
in despair, and begged of Tom to execute a bran new one in his best 
styles.) L926 aeeh . Rona th ted 
y The poet-sexton held consultation with the ceiling, as other knowing 
persons sometimes do,:in the fulness of deep thought and reflection, then 
fixed, his rolling eyes upon a well-smoked flitch just swinging above him, 
rubbed his, hands, raked, together the embers, of his fire, and sat with 
en in band-and, spectacles on, nose,,and, as the poet Collins says of me- 
mor “ett Mg—lte—eoan bo to I 
Foal nf 2 o fy ’ Lg il jad 
ond 36 900 oS Like one inspired.’ o welont an 
