1826.] The Drill-Serjeant. 497 
him, when the, draughts of mine hostess hath:diluted some portion of 
military starch, and he no longer holds his head like a game cock, taking 
_his; morning’s, potation; .see him,then, and own. that! even a Serjeant 
_may.be.amiable. Is he not,the very. model, of elegant-ecase? He. is, 
indeed, unbent; for his limbs, swing loosely as hung ramrods.. Our Ser- 
jeant can now, talk; his tongue hath overleapt the two barriers, “| Atten- 
tion!” and.“ Stand at ease !” and rambles wildly from Egypt to,Water- 
loo. And; if, it.should happen that the pretty bar-maid be niece to the 
landlady,,.mark how the Serjeant probes for her feelings with charged 
bayonets—how, he will try to smite her gentle ear with a discharge of 
artillery—swear that he hath had twenty wounds under his coat, although 
very politically adding, that they have left him not a bit the worse man, 
Then, if the damsel still continue untouched, taking orders with a calm 
air, our Serjeant hints in a whisper, audible to the dosing watchman at 
the door, something about a Spanish widow at Saragossa ; adding very 
loudly, «« But no—I was always for true love !” adorning the beautiful 
edifice of principle with a flowery oath. He then begins..a sentiment, 
and, at a loss, dives for the conclusion to it in a pot of ale. If there 
happen. to be four or five privates in the room, our Serjeant increases in 
importance from the circumstance—just as a cat becomes great from the 
introduction of a litter of puppies. Our Serjeant is more than ever the 
leading gander of the flock—the king-herring of the shoal—the blue- 
bottle of the swarm—the pebble of the sand—the G of the gamut... He 
has now additional hearers of the tale of his prowess, and, if he but 
give the wink, companions who saw him face the breach and spike, the 
cannon. , His rank next becomes the subject of discussion ; and locking 
_very complacently at his arm, he tells of some dreadful exploit in which 
he earned his stripes. ‘“‘ And. doubtless, Serjeant, not before you 
‘deserved them,”, ventures a small, quiet wight in the corner, who. will 
have his, fling, though, at the expense of his liquor ; for ere he, concludes 
his remark he gives the Serjeant his glass—just as a school-boy, who 
twitches the trunk of an elephant, throws to the animal a peace-offering 
of apples—whilst the privates inwardly laugh at the joke, and get 
rebuked for again enjoying it on parade to-morrow morning, Just as 
the Serjeant’s opponents are nearly all slaughtered, a little Italian boy 
bearing a tortoise adroitly glides into the room to display the testaceous 
wonder ; or he has with him a bust of Napoleon, at which our Serjeant 
bristles up, looking, indeed, seriously fierce at plaister of Paris. Here 
he utters some half-audible wish that he had not received_a bullet in 
the last charge, and then . Now, however, our Serjeant takes an 
Ya aned to pour forth his learning—he mangles five words of French ; 
he Italian shakes his head, and holds forth his hand ; the Serjeant swears 
at him for an impostor, ignorant of his own language. It drawing late, 
our Serjeant calls for, his reckoning, and learning the amount, with an 
affected air of destitution avows he hag no money.; he has not.a piece of 
silver about him, unless it be that at his breast—and here he carelessly 
lifts up with one finger a Waterloo medal ;—then he draws out a watch, 
“once the property of a French general slain by our Serjeant, and asks if 
that will serve for the amount? At length, however, the money being 
shaken from a yellow silk purse, our Serjeant, after a salutary admonition 
to the privates, goes off, as he says, to visit a friend in the Ordnance. 
Now this is the utmost stretch of our Serjeant’s amiability; and he 
departs with a consciousness of having made himself remarkably agree- 
“MLM. New Series —Vou.If. No.1], 3S 
