WHAT DO POLKS lAUOH AT ? 33 



contact with tKe wooden side, and have removed my Roman nose from 

 its seat, placing in its room a broken Bridge of Sighs, had not it gone 

 forth on its travels, through the little hole left to admit light, which 

 luckily was |open. At last I stopped in my rapid flight. I opened the 

 door to spring out, when I was assailed with a " hoa-hoa-hoa-hoop." 

 " How !" said I, " does the devil live in the sea, as well as on land ! 

 What's the matter ?" putting my bead round the machine, and covering 

 my nakedness as well as I could, " Oh, Sir! I just fell in — with, but 

 I believe it's nothing, Sir — Nothing," retorted the merman, looking up 

 at me with wonder, and wiping the water from his eyes and hair. " Do 

 please tell me, Sir, what it was ?" exclaimed I eagerly, and with a disap- 

 pointed air (nearly resembling the way in which his hair was appointed), 

 at having so nearly solved my problem, but to feel my hopes not only 

 damped, but actually drowned by his crying, " Oh, no, no," as he jumped 

 into his Domicile ; " it was, I assure you — nothing !" 



The next day I received a letter, which required my immediate atten- 

 dance in town. Accordingly, at 10 o'clock, I mounted the box of "the 

 Paragon," and crawled along at the rate of about seven miles an hour ; 

 but the tediousness of the journey was made up for by the 

 splendour of the country through which we passed. I was en- 

 chanted ! Hill and valley came in succession, and displayed some of 

 the most luxuriant views that could be desired. We stopped at Ton- 

 bridge-wells to dine. Every traveller knows that not much time is 

 allowed for this operation : accordingly, I made the best use of it, by 

 putting a piece of potatoe into my mouth, which was so exceedingly hot, 

 I was obliged, after burning my tongue into blisters, and trying in vain 

 to bolt the dainty morsel down, to dislodge it precipitately from its 

 hiding-place, into the lap of the lady who sat next to me, much to the 

 amusement of my felow passengers — miserable sinner that I was ! 

 " What the deuce are you laughing at ?" vociferated I, in torture from 

 my dozen wounds, to a slender dapper draper's-boy-looking youth, who 

 ever and anon burst forth like a volcano, with " buz-buz, splutter- 

 splutter !" " Oh ! Sir, nothing. Sir," replied he, half frightened, and 

 turning quite white in the face. " By G — , Sir !" retorted I, " what do 

 you mean by nothing ? It is the most detestable word on earth !" 



" Coach is ready. Sir, London coach," shouted different voices from 

 without; and again we rolled off' towards the metropolis. We had just 

 passed through Farnborough, when a most violent giggle broke from the 

 inside of the coach ; startled by the sound, splash went the near leader, 

 a little blood mare with elegant action ; and away we went into a full 

 gallop — whizzing along at double our former speed. I stretched over so 

 as to be able to parley with the causers of the fright ; " For heaven's sake, 

 my dear young ladies, hold your tonges," I exclaimed, " or we shall be 

 all upset. But tell me first, what have you found to laugh at ?" " We 

 don't know," weezed the cracked voice of an antiquated dame. " I 

 believe it's nothing," said a round-faced country girl, putting her bonnet 

 out of the window to shew it ; "I believe it's nothing. Sir." " Sacre 1" 

 muttered I, "nothing again." "Hough-hough-hough!" pealed from 

 the dickey, at this exclamation, " Hough-hoagh-hough !" " Good 

 heavens! who ever heard such a horse-laugh ?" groaned I to the coach- 

 man. " They'ra Rllfour off," replied ]vt, Hlluding to his Suttle> " SKliitit 



