NOTUS OF THE MONTH. 161 



possible. It would prove a much more " untoward circumstance" in their 

 casethanin that of any " united pair," were they addicted to quarrelling, as 

 neither could, by any exercise of his ingenuity, escape even for one little 

 moment from the vituperation of the other. Husband and wife, when 

 they quarrel, can betake themselves to separate apartments ; and by 

 that means, enjoy a temporai-y exemption, at least, from the reproaches 

 and criminations of each other. Not so with the Siamese Twins : what- 

 ever the one chooses to say, the other is compelled to hear. 



Working Colliers. — We could almost wish, that fate had destined 

 us to be " working colliers." In that case we should have had some hopes 

 of eventually attaining to wealth, if not to fame. As poor maga- 

 zine editors, we have not the most slender prospect of either. The in- 

 dividual referred to in the following paragraph, may bless his stars, that 

 he was made a working collier, instead of the editor of a journal. Had 

 he filled the latter situation, he could, most certainly, never have had the 

 good luck which is in reserve for him ; for no one ever yet heard of "an 

 editor" establishing his claim to property of " immense annual value ;" 

 nor of septennial value either. But let the paragraph alluded to, tell its 

 own story : — 



*' A working collier, hitherto in very distressed circumstances, has recently es- 

 tablished his claim as heir to property of immense annual value, near Ashby, in 

 Liecestershire." 



This is the eleventh or twelfth "working collier," who, if the papers may 

 be credited, have had similar good fortune within the last six months. 

 In all the other instances, if we remember rightly, there was a peerage, 

 or some great title, associated with the " immense property." We are 

 surprised to miss this pleasant-sounding appendage in the present 

 instance. Probably, it may be the next thing to which this " working 

 collier" may establish his claim. What lucky rascals these underground 

 gentry are ! It is right, however, to add, that however clearly they 

 establish their claims to immense property, distinguished titles, &c., in 

 the columns of public journals, they do not do it in one case out of a 

 thousand in a court of law. It is the latter consideration alone, that 

 prevents us from throwing ourselves into a " coal mine" at once. 



Important Discovery. — Men may laugh and ridicule as they choose, 

 but intellect is on the march at the present moment. Important dis- 

 coveries are daily — nay, hourly being made in the arts and sciences. The 

 most remarkable discovery which has been made of late, is thus recorded 

 in the "Morning Herald" of Saturday the 22d, with all the solemnity 

 which distinguishes the announcements of that journal : — 



" A newly invented instrument called tlie Axi/rite, has just been announced, 

 with wliicli, to the tjteat dismay of the Barbers, persons may shave themselves 

 without the use of either razor, soap, or water." 



It is quite natural that the announcement of the discovery of the 

 Axyrite should spread dismay among the barbers, just as the expected 

 loss of office, when in power, spread dismay among the Tories. But 

 on the Benthamite principle of the greatest happiness to the greatest 

 numbers — that is to say, when we ourselves chance to be among the 

 latter — we rejoice with ineffable joy at the ingenious invention. The 

 barbers, fortunately, have one course open to them, whicii, wc doubt 



M. M.— 2. ' N 



