OMNIBUS POLITICIANS. 261 



different interruptions which we met with, from bipeds, quadrupeds, 

 carts, cars, and carriages, afforded these men ample opportunity for 

 urging each their respective arguments, and which, to do them justice, 

 they did with considerable energy. It is curious how words do mul- 

 tiply — how ignorance acquires strength by endurance. From personal 

 jests, they passed to general strictures upon men and manners, trades 

 and occupations. Church and State, King, Lords, and Commons. I 

 confess I was a little astonished at the information of some of the 

 talkers, much of which, I fancy, arose from their own confidence, or 

 rather the toleration which they experienced. One of the aforesaid 

 men turned to the man of years, and very abruptly asked him what 

 occupation he pursued, to which he replied with an air of affected dignity 

 that was truly amusing, " Sir, I am a chymist." " Is that all you can 

 say of yourself .' you give but a lame account of yourself ;" looking at 

 the same time to a large stick which the chymist carried, and which was 

 evidently intended to perform some of the good duties of a good leg. 

 The allusion was so coarse and unmanly, that I looked at the fellow 

 with an air of contempt, — when, turning to me, he said, " Perhaps, sir, 

 you, too, are a chymist ? if so, you can help your friend." To this I 

 only replied by a look, which I think spoke very intelligibly to him; 

 when the other loquacious fellow said, that if I was a chymist, I would 

 be likely to do the very opposite, for two of a trade never agreed. 

 "That is not always the case," said my vis-a-vis compagnon de voyage, 

 and his fancy took a wide range : " there are trades which play into 

 each other's hands — brewers and bakers, grocers and wine-merchants, 

 all play into the doctor's hands, by mixing all manner of drugs and stuff 

 in our bread and drink, and which require the doctor's advice, — ay, and 

 some of his physic, too, to carry it off. The doctor himself plays into 

 the hands of the undertaker and parson, who very good-naturedly taxes us 

 at our entrance and exit from life." The conversation became presently a 

 little more interesting, or at any rate more ludicrous, by a kindof an episode 

 which he introduced about church and state, beginning with the parson, 

 who he said was no better than he should be, with his tithes and fat 

 living, for all of which he did nothing except preaching once a week a 

 sermon which he bought at the last auction, and reading a chapter or 

 two out of that book which some people impudently call the " story 

 book." Returning to trades, he said, " the shoemaker played into the 

 hands of the corn-cutter." " You are perfectly right there," said his 

 friend, at the same time uttering a frightful oath against every one in 

 the trade. "Then, again, is the tailor playing into the hands of the 

 lawyer, — the first to take your measure for a suit of clothes, the other to 

 take measures to get payment for them ; the first brings in his bill as 

 long as your arm for wearing apparel, the other a still" longer one for 

 costs ; — you may indeed call it measure for measure, suit for suit," 

 smiling at his wit. " There is a sort of an understanding, too, between 

 tailors and upholsterers, the latter to daub with oil, gum, japan, or var- 

 nish, every article in their line, that, hang me, if a man can sit upon any 

 thing except at the risk of spoiling a pair of pantaloons." To enume- 

 rate the various crimes which traders in general committed, according 

 to this fellow's report, would fill a good-sized octavo. From the tinker 

 who makes two holes when employed to stop one, to the parson who 



