550 MISADVENTURES OF A LOVER, 



found tliey had enougli to do to save themselves. Their bodies — 

 like the carcase of Sir John Falstaff, when chucked into the Thames 

 by Madams Page and Ford's servants — showed a wonderful alacrity 

 at sinking ; and their " escape from death by drowning " was, if 

 that were possible, a still greater miracle than mine. Three hats 

 and sundry shoes were lost on the occasion. 



After I had regained terra firma, I was much perplexed as to 

 whether or not I should submit quietly to the imputation of having 

 attempted suicide, or vi'hether I should disclose the theory of my 

 insertion in the liquid element in which they found me. I decided 

 that it would be the better way to compromise the matter — to tell 

 'part of the truth. I did tell part of the truth; but the "searchers" 

 were dissatisfied: they insisted there was more in the business than 

 " met the ear." The whole truth, however, did meet their ears be- 

 fore two hours elapsed. Two female servants belonging to the 

 establishment in which Louisa temporarily resided had witnessed the 

 whole affair, to the serious pain and agitation of their clumsy sides; 

 and, so great is the disposition of some people to mischief, one of 

 them made an errand to town for the express purpose of telling the 

 whole truth, and a good deal more than the truth. 



The facts of the awkward case were these : I had that day peram- 

 bulated the banks of the river, without even " folding a foot," oppo- 

 site the then half consecrated domicile which contained the loveliest 

 form which ever emanated from dame Nature's hand. All my anx- 

 iety, all my walking and watching, to see her was fruitless. Evening 

 approached. What was to be done '? To spend another night with- 

 out an interview was perfectly horrific in the prospect, what then 

 must it be in the " actuality ! " I resolved in the extremity of my dis- 

 tress to go to the other side of the river, and feign some errand into 

 the house, by which means the chances of seeing Louisa would be 

 increased ten-fold. There was a bridge across the water some quarter 

 of a mile from the spot on which I then stood. 1 went to the other 

 side. With tremulous step I advanced towards the house, but when 

 within twenty yards of it I saw a huge mastiff making towards me 

 with the volocity of lightning. His aspect was terrific. It made an 

 impression on me which will never be obliterated. It is as vividly be- 

 fore my mind at this moment as if the occurrence had taken place 

 but yesterday. I am no coward; and sure I >am no one will re- 

 proach me with any want of courage, though I hesitated to " buckle " 

 with the beast, when I state that I was wholly unarmed and defence- 

 less. Besides, I ki.ew there were no laurels to be gained, even 

 should I be victorious, from a combat with a domesticated quadruped. 

 I wheeled round in an instant. My first intention was to make for 

 the bridge ; but lo escape that way, it immediately occurred to me, 

 would be impossible : the brute would have had his tusks in me be- 

 fore I could have got the tenth part of the distance. In the horror 

 and confusion of the moment I took the nearest cut to the river. 

 Never were my pedestals so exercised before. I literally bounded. 

 Still Tiger was incomparably the best runner of the two. The 

 growls of the cur indicated but too plainly that he was rapidly gain- 

 ing on me. Of course I did not commit the sin of Lot's wife — that 



