1829.] Autohiographi/ of Jonathan Wild, the Younger. 75^ 



improves his health, shattered by the necessity of keeping late hours, 

 but can enjoy the pastoral beauties of the country, be talkative as a mute, 

 and merry as an undertaker by day, take his sleep, like a watchman, 

 by night, and employ his leisure in the diligent following up of his 

 profession. For myself, I was always fond of the picturesque, and shall 

 never forget one lovely moonlight night spent professionally with Atkins 

 on Hounslow Heath. The hour was somewhat late, just twelve o'clock, 

 and the clouds (whose health I never omit to drink) were massive 

 enough to disk the moon's rays without absolutely throwing night upon 

 the landscape. Around us on all sides Nature was fast asleep — an 

 awkward predicament for the old lady, had she been animated and worn 

 pockets — and the south wind alone was abroad, if you except six owls 

 who went partners with as many bull-frogs in a duet by no means to be 

 despised. As I stood beside my lieutenant, whose religious sensibilities 

 were roused by the imposing awe of the hour, a pleasing tranquillity 

 stole over me. The spirit of poetry permeated my mind: I became ethereal 

 — imaginative — romantic. Just at this crisis the sovmd of wheels was 

 heard : in an instant my dream was ended ; from a poet I descended to a 

 footpad, and had barely time to conceal myself behind some adjoining 

 trees, when a post-chaise came rattling towards me. Drawing a pistol 

 from my belt, while Atkins did the same, I rushed up to the veliicle 

 with the usual highway anathema ; but discovering that there were only 

 two females inside, I modulated my voice to its most agreeable tones, 

 and hoping that I did not intrude, requested the gentlewomen's purses 

 and whatever other property they might have about them. ]\Iy request 

 was indulgently acceded to, upon which, wishing the ladies a good night, 

 and cautioning them to beware of highwaymen, I contented myself with 

 tying the post-boy with his head to the horses' tail, and set out with 

 Atkins towards the Woodcock and Sugav-Tongs, Isleworth. Here, 

 while we Avere dividing our booty, my confederate grasped me suddenly 

 by the arm, and putting on an air of devout seriousness, '' I am sorry. 

 Wild," said he, " to find you so addicted to swearing. Plad you ojje- 

 rated on the ladies without an oath, I had said nothing, it is purely 

 professional ; but how can you expect the blessings of Heaven on your 

 exertions if — " At this moment an uncontrollable ckowsiness came over 

 me, under the influence of which I threw myself on a bench in the tap- 

 room, fell fast asleep, and dreamed of the devil. 



By day-break we set out for B;'th, where we had appointed our gang 

 to meet us. On the way we met a horse, which I forth^vith appropriated, 

 and for which I should certainly have been hanged, had not a flaw in 

 the indictment let me loose — I quote the Judge's insulting remark — 

 once again on society. About six months subsequent to this accident, 

 the good folks of Hounslow and its vicinity, Avhich we invariably made 

 our head-quarters, having been kept in constant alarm by our depreda- 

 tions, began to put in force every stratagem against us, (one gentleman 

 in particular, named Evans, a magistrate of Twickenham, was particu- 

 larly active) the consequence of which was, that the majority of my 

 gang, one after the other, were taken up, convicted and executed. 

 There is nothing more distressing to a feeling heart, tlian day by day to 

 witness the dropping oiT of its dearest associates. This was my case : 

 every succeeding assizes diminished the number of my confederates, until 

 at last Atkins and myself were the only two that remained. And here I 

 would caution my readers from running away with a notion that 

 because I am sentimental, I am of necessity weak in action. Nothing is 



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