252 Conversazione. [[Sept. 



the House of Commons, in which the penalty of transportation was sub- 

 stituted, for some particular offence, in lieu of a fine, which had pre- 

 viously been inflicted. In altering the punishment, however, they forgot 

 to alter the words of the clause : so that, after reciting the offence, and 

 declaring tlie penalty to be transportation for life, the old provision was 

 retained, and the enactment ran thus — viz, ' that one half of the said 

 penalty should go to the informer, and the other half to the King.' I 

 remember Lord Stanhope chuckled amazingly at the idea of transport- 

 ing his Majesty to New South Wales, for half the term of his natural 

 life. 



" The late Earl Stanhope, by the by, was one of the most original 

 and singular characters that ever sat within the walls of Parliament. I 

 speak of him, now, as I was accustomed to see him, during the latter 

 years of his life. How indescribably grotesque and ludicrous was his 

 appearance ! He Avas the Liston and Grimaldi, united, of the House of 

 Peers. He wore a sti'aight, Aviry, black, scratch-wig, which descended 

 in lank disorder into his neck. His apparel, which was always very 

 much the worse for wear, and more than Avhat may be called slovenly in 

 its arrangement, generally consisted of a suit of rusty black, with a pair 

 of whole boots, the tops of which were as dingy as the sack-like 

 breeclws they invaded at the knees ; while his long, lean face, naturally 

 of a puritanical cast, but into Avhich he generally threw a character of 

 comic archness, and his nasal twang in speaking, completed a tout ensefnble 

 of ineffable burlesque. He Avas eminently shreAvd and sagacious ; but 

 the influence Avhich liis talents Avere calculated to exert, Avas too often 

 impaired, if not wholly desti-oyed, by the proximity of the ridiculous. 

 The Aveight of his arguments Avas forgotten in the laugh raised by the 

 quaintness of his humour, and the broad caricature of his gesticulation. 

 Sometimes, indeed, his reasonings were so forcible, and his demonstra- 

 tions so conclusive, that they could not be resisted. His scientific 

 knowledge and mechanical skill Avere universally confessed. His de- 

 mocratic follies, at the commencement of the French revolution, Avere 

 only emanations of that originality of character Avhich constituted its 

 prominent and peculiar featui*e. 



" i\Iany Avhimsical anecdotes might be related of him. I remember 

 his addi-essing the House of Lords on one occasion, in the following 

 strain. ' IMy lords, I am fond of talking Avith lawyers, because I know 

 I can ahvays pose them. I believe I may say what none of them can — 

 that I have read the statutes through. My lords, I recollect once talk- 

 ing Avith Lord Thurlow upon a nice point of statute law, and his lord- 

 ship said to me — ' Stanhope, if you ask my opinion upon a question of 



common law, I can give it to you ; but as for that. ' Stop !" Here Lord 



Stanhope looked across the House, with his head first on one side, then 

 on the other, as if trying to peep behind the backs of those who were 

 seated on the Treasury Bench — " Stop," — he continued, — " I think I see 

 a bishop ! — never mind — it shall out ! — ' but as for that d — d statute 

 law,' added Lord Thui'loAV, ' I never knoAV what I am about with it.' — 

 The manner in which he hitched up his breeches, (ahvays a favourite 

 action witli him Avliile speaking,) with both hands, as he gave old Thur- 

 loAv's ' very Avords,' and looked unutterable things at the Bishops' 

 Bench, as if he would have said, ' You maj'^ do your worst,' baffles all 

 description. The House roared again : and I am not qviite sure that the 

 bishop himself — for there Avas one present, and only one — kept his face 

 as he ought ; but Stanhope's own countenance never relaxed a single 

 muscle. 



