I 260 ] [Sept. 



MY INABILITIES. 



I HAVE NEVER BEEN AJBLE TO UNDERSTAND why somc men have ten 

 thousand a-year ; others fifty thousand a-year ; and some a hundred 

 thousand a-year, while I can't get any thing hke the least of those sums. 

 And yet I am quite sure it has not been for want of wishing. The latter, 

 indeed, for to say the truth, I am prone to tliat which Young calls " the 

 constant hectic of a fool," though, at the same time, to do myself equal 

 justice, I am far from being averse to that which I consider better than 

 wishing, doing. I have been doing something all my life ; even when 

 I have had nothing to do, I never did nothing ; and I may add, that, 

 like the ostler at the Elejjhant and Castle, who " never does nothing /or 

 nothing," I have alwa3's made it a rule to have my quid pro quo. Why, 

 then, am I doomed, every time I put on my hat, " to c^ap a ring fence 

 round my whole estate }" Why are the pockets, the only part of my 

 nether garment, I mean, which are always as good as new ? Why, in 

 short, as often as I look in a glass, do I beliold, at one view, the whole 

 of my personal projierty, and find myself forced to confess I have the 

 appearance of a man of substance, though the very confession arises from 

 a sort of personal reflection upon the nature and bulk of my real pro- 

 perty .'' I could ask a dozen more questions, all of them as much to the 

 purpose as those I have asked, and yet have as far to seek as ever for a 

 sufficient answer to my main one. Touching the reasons why I cannot 

 have all the money I could spend, while there are so many in the world 

 who cannot spend all the money they have, and so many more who get 

 all the money they want. I know it may be said that both these manys 

 put together, would not amount to a thousandth part of that huge 

 colossal many, who are in the same predicament as myself. — Granted. 

 But as it coiild not be proved, I take it, that if there were a hundred 

 men going to be hung, the disagreeable sensation of that ceremony would 

 be divided between them, instead of each individual of the party having 

 his separate allowance of rope ; so, I maintain, it is equally incapable of 

 proof, that tlie knowledge of there being ten thousand, or ten hundred 

 thousand empty pockets, is, or ought to be, sufficient to produce in any 

 one of them the same sensation as a purse would which is never empty. 

 Besides, every man is the best judge of his own wrongs ; or, at least, of 

 the degree in which he feels an injury. I, therefore, knowing exactly to 

 how many excellent purposes I should apply a large fortune, if I had 

 one, am peculiarly sensible of the injustice, not only to myself, but to 

 others, of keeping me without. It is incalculable the good I should 

 have done to the world, had the world been good to me. If any body 

 thinks this is a mere piece of brag, all I say is, /;y 7ne ! I only wish the 

 Duke of Northumberland, or Lord Grosvenor, or the Marquis of Stafford, 

 or any other man who has more money than a man ought to have, would 

 just let me serve an apprenticeship to ten thousand a-year, and if, long 

 before I was out of my time, I did not shew I was fit to carry on the 

 business afterwards upon double that scale, I would consent to have my 

 indentures cancelled. Or I would undertake to spend other people's 

 money upon commission ; that is, if fifty or a hundred benevolent per- 

 sons, sincerely desirous of making their wealth more extensively bene- 

 ficial than they are able to do of themselves, would club their five hun- 

 dred or thousand a-year each, for a time to be specified, but long enotigk 



