1829.] Police, Press, Popery, and Foreign Relations. 369 



minister of so leaden a tinge as to be obscured by this shadow of a shade. 

 If he will make the eclipse for himself^ and then plunge into it, who 

 shall prevent him from offering the last warning of an infirm temper and 

 a bewildered brain ? But we will tell him, that manliness has nothing to 

 do with such things. We fuUy acquit him of all the higher ambition. 

 The impulses that urge pov/erful minds to play a proud part among men, 

 are not to be put off and on like the costume of a theatrical king — the 

 same shoulders that wear the embroidered and ermined robe of that 

 mock-royalty to-night, may wear the tags and knots of the footman to- 

 morrow — but it is only upon the stage. A pi-osccuting premier is a 

 solecism in moral life. But we will tell the premier, that if it be his pur- 

 pose to crush the English mind, he might better hang a mill-stone round 

 his neck at once ; that he might as well attempt to coerce the ocean, and 

 that liis fruit of sowing the wind^ will be to reap the whirlwind. 



THE WILL OF SIR CHARLES HENRY HASTINGS, BART. 



I, Charles Hastings, being now of sound mind. 



And not caring a straw for the fools left behind, 



Do hereby desire neither parson nor 'squire — 



The first being a knave, and the second a liar. 



Whom I hated alive — be suffered to tread 



Near the place where my remnants are laid when I'm dead. 



I further desire that ray coffin be laid 



Where no rascally sexton has ever dipped spade ; 



In none of your churchyards where rogues lie together, 



Like thieves in a hulk, all bound up in one tether ; 



But high upon Grub Hill, the favourite spot 



Where a baronet only should venture to rot, 



Unclogged by the bones of the ploughmen and peasants. 



The snarers of hares, and the poachers of pheasants ; 



Unclogged by the mayor and the aldermen's wives. 



I mean such as 'scape from the Londoner's knives. 



For once in this world I shall there lie alone. 



With no termagant turned into bone of my bone. 



Moreover, I order that six of my men 

 On their shoulders shall carry me down to my den. 

 For which they are willed twenty shillings a-piece. 

 To be paid on the nail by my ruddy-cheeked niece ; 

 And sixpence a-piece to the choir for a stave, 

 To be sung to the tune of " Roast Beef," on my grave. 

 I know at this news Parson Lackland will writhe ; 

 But, living or dead, I'll not pay him his tithe : 

 I'd rather by half find him guilty of arson. 

 Though not of the Thames — so, good by to the Parson ! 



I further desire, that six acorns be dropt 

 In the place where their owner is finally popt. 

 In hopes that my dust may for something be good, 

 And, in process of time, may turn up in a wood ; 

 That, when in an oak, I may float on the main. 

 Take a knock at the French, or a scamper to Spain ; 

 Have a brush with the Russians, a run at the Turks, 

 Or demolish the Dey of Algier's upper works ; 

 Or hang out a branch for the use of a knave. 

 Or make up a leg or an arm for the brave ; 

 Be a mast or a barrel, a pike or an oar ; — 

 In short, be of some use, on sea or on shore ; 

 And, leaving no spot on my ancestors' name. 

 Put the Peer, and the 'Squire, and the Parson to siiame. 

 iM . M. New Series.— Vol. VIII. No. 46. 3 B 



