1829. J AJ'air.i in General. 433 



populous parishes. The clothing of the superintendantSj or superior 

 officers, will resemble very much the undress of the Coldstream Guards-^- 

 a blue frock with standing collar, ornamented with silver lace, the but- 

 tons exhibiting a crown and tlie word ' police' underneath. The In- 

 spectors' appointments will be of the same description, only coarser cloth • 

 The Police-men will be armed with a pair ofjnstols and cutlass. Each 

 man is to bear a number, by which he may be identified. The men 

 will be bound to go round their respective posts eveiy quarter of an 

 hour. The Superintendant's salary will be 200/. a year ; the Inspector's 

 lOOZ. ; the police sergeant 3s. (5d. per diem, and the private 3*. Amongst 

 the successful candidates for the post of inspectors are several retired 

 sergeants of the guards, whose uniform good conduct, and habits of mili- 

 tary discipline, well qualify them for -the situation. The total force, at 

 least on the present calculation, will not exceed eight hundred men. 

 No person, of whatever rank, will be allowed to engage in any other 

 sort of employment. The inspectoi*'s duty will be that which is at 

 present performed by the night constables. The superintendants will 

 take their reports in the morning, and lay them before the commis- 

 sioners. The sergeants will have to see that the men are on their posts. 

 It is expected that the duty will commence in Westminster on the 20th 

 of the present month." 



Now, what, in the name of common sense, do we want with all this 

 military fuss.-' Arms, accoutrements, undress of the Coldstream Guards, 

 sergeants, cutlass and pistols, habits of military discipline, posts, parades, 

 and the colonel at the top of the muster-roll ! Is there a rebellion 

 raging in London ? Have the beacons been lighted on the top of the 

 Treasury, to tell the dwellers beyond Temple Bar, that the Lords of 

 the Council are besieged by General Diebitsch Cobbett? that General 

 Paskewitch Hunt is coming with a hundred thousand manslayers over 

 Westminster Bridge, and that they have but half an hour's provisions 

 and not a moustachio left unburnt among them.^ We see nothing oi'this 

 yet with the keenest telescope. 



Our declaimers lavish their eloquence on the Absenteeism of Ireland ; 

 but until fair words can wash out the recollections of an Irish residence, 

 they but throw away their metaphors. We can conceive no happiness 

 of speech sufficient to abate the nuisance of being regularly besieged by 

 some hundreds of infuriated papist ruffians drunk with whiskej', bigotry, 

 and blood, for six months in the year ; and for the other six, venturing out 

 a dozen yards from one's own door only at the risque of never returning 

 but a corpse ; running every day much more hazard than a partridge on the 

 first of September, and seeing in every third man we meet a sworn assassin, 

 with his remission for all sins past, present, and to come, in his pocket, 

 signed by the priest who has dined at your table every Sunday for the 

 last twenty years ; and never laying your head upon your pillow without 

 the philosophical consolation, that being either shot or burned ahve, is at 

 worst a rapid conclusion to the troubles of suspecting every one, guard- 

 ing against every one, being plundered by every one, and finally, falling 

 a victim at last, with all your precaution. That an Irish Protestant, Avho 

 was able to earn his bread by paving, or picking stones, or wiping 

 shoes, in England, should fly from the great and glorious scene of liber- 

 ality, emancipation, and sharp-shooting, we can feel as little wonder, as 

 we are inclined to attach blame. If the case were our own, we should 

 fly from the " Emerald Isle, the sweet gem of tiie sea," as fast as four 

 post-horses could carry us to the shore, and the JMeteor steamer could 

 carry us from it ; with merely an Irish newspaper in our pocket, to pro- 



M.M. Neiv Series.— V Oh. Will. No. 46. 3 K 



