452 



Monthly Review (^Literature, 



nOcT. 



but of his gravity, or perhaps the kindliness 

 of his nature, which is visible enough in his 

 books, andwhich his life did not, apparently, 

 belie. He was, however, a very jocose per- 

 sonage, and deep in the Oxford sin of pun- 

 ning. Some of his repartees are good : 



Playing once at whist, and making a 

 blunder — he was a very bad hand at cards— 

 his pai'tner angTily asked, " What reason, 

 DIr. President, could you possibly Iiave for 

 playing that card ?" — " No7ie upon earth, 

 I assure youJ" 



An under-giaduate waited on him to ask 

 leave out of college, wishing, he said, to 

 go to Coventry — " Better go than be sent," 

 replied the President. 



He said of some indolent person, who 

 lived five and tliiity years in college without 

 any occupation, " He had nothing to do, 

 and he did it." 



Of young men coming to the University, 

 Home said — " Tliey have an equal chance 

 of being pickled oi preserved" which nearly 

 breaks down. 



I was talking (says Mr. Best) with Henry James 

 Pye, late poet laureat, ttlien] he happened to 

 mention tlie name of Mr. P., a gentleman of 

 Bcrksliire and M.P. I tiiink, for Reading; — 

 " That is the man/' said I, " who damned the 

 king's wig in the very presence of his Majesty; 

 with great credit, however, to his own loyalty, 

 and very much to the anmsement of the king." 

 — " 1 do not well see how that could be." — 

 " You shall hear a story whicli our president, 

 Home, (Pye had been a gentleman commoner of 

 Magdalen College) told at his own table. The 



king was out a liiuiling: P was in, and of, 



the field; the king's horse fell: the king was 

 thrown from the saddle, and his hat and wig were 

 thrown to a litUe distance from him: he got on 

 liis feet again immediately, and began to look- 

 about for the bat and wig, which be did not readily 



see, being, as we all know, short-sighted. P , 



very much alarmed by the accident, rides up in 

 great haste, and ai lives at the moment when the 

 king is peering about and saying to the atten- 

 dants, ' Where's my wig r Where's my wig?' 



P' cries out, ' D — n your wig ; is your Mitjes'y 



safe f" 



Some puns of Barton, warden of Merton, 

 are too bad for repetition — most of them so 

 obviously made up, to explode upon occa- 

 sion — and the occasion made, too, some- 

 times. One of Tom Wharton's is better : 



Whoever has been at Oxford lias seen 

 The sixteen grisly Cssars grin 

 In a semicircle at the northern end of the theatre. 

 The celebrated Thomas Warton, fellow of Trinity 

 College, a poet, and author of the History of Eng- 

 lish Poetry, and at length poi'la laurealus to his 

 Majesty, was walking one day near this spot, 

 when he was addressed by a countryman, or man 

 from the country, who had been gazing at these 

 very ugly and rather colossal busts. " Pray, Sir, 

 be so kind as to tell me what be they?" ijointinj; 

 to the statues. Waiton, or as he was familiarly 

 called, " Tom Warton," answered by a counter 

 question in the patois of the interrogator. — 

 " Didst thee never hear of the heads of liousen?" 

 — " Aye, sure I have," said the man. " Well," 

 said Tom, " them be they.'' — " Tbaiik'ee, Sir,'' 



said the man, and departed unconscious of tbe 

 trick. 



The best of the mots, under the head of 

 Cyril Jackson, are rather about him than ■ 

 by liim. A repartee by young Langton, a 

 son of Bennet Langton, is worth quoting : 



Jackson did not like that his young men should 

 seek their acquaintance out of college, but wish- 

 ed the Christ-Church men to associate, as much as 

 might be, with each other. He said to my Lin- 

 colnshire Saxon friend, who was a gentleman 

 commoner of Christ Church, " Mr. Langton, you 

 knock in very often : why do you visit so much 

 out of college? I say nothing in disparagement 

 of other colleges : no doubt there are clever men 

 to be found in them ; but as Christ-Church is the 

 largest college in the university, there must be 

 more men of sense in this college than in any 

 other, by the rule of proportion simply." — " Yes, 

 Sir," said Langton ; " and more fools too, by the 

 same rule." 



A specimen of some French puns will not 

 take up much space : — 



Louis, the eighteenth king of his name, was 

 twice brought back to the French, escorted by 

 foreign bayonets. They said he was dcu.t fois 

 neuf. Ncuf means both nine and new: twice 

 nine is eighteen. 



When the terms of the treaty which followed 

 the restoration of the king were known, the 

 French amused themselves by composing what 

 they called the alphabet of the restoration. La 

 nation Franf-aise a. b.c. The French pronun- 

 ciation of these letters suggests to every one the 

 word abaissL-e. Quarante-trois Dfpartementi 

 c. d. (ci'di's). Le ministere c. b. t. As the as- 

 pirate in the word hfbete is not sounded, you have 

 only to pronounce the three letters to arrive at the 

 sense. La gloire des armies Frani'aisesf. a. c. 

 (effacie.) These arc a few specimens of this 

 mauvaise plaisanierie that greeted the restored 

 monarch. 



The young Duke of Rutland, when Lord 

 Lieutenant of Ireland, in a drunken frolic 

 knighted the landlord of an inn in a country 

 town : — 



Being lold the next morning what he had done 

 the duke sent for mine host, and begged of him 

 to consider the ceremonial as merely a drunken 

 frolic. " For my own part, my Lord Duke, 1 

 should readily comply with your Excellency's 

 wish ; but Lady O'Shaunessy!" — 



Tills leads the author to remark upon 

 baronets thus : — 



I dislike the origin of this casle, and the left 

 hand dyed in the blood of Ulster. Besides, it is 

 not fair that one plain country gentleman should 

 have so much advantage over another of his 

 species in the market of matrimony. Many wo- 

 men of large dower are as ready and anxious to 

 be ladies, as Lady O'Shaunessy. Neither is it 

 fair, that on no motive of civil polity or persona^ 

 merit, a man sljould be set above his eqiials. 

 But if any one can shew reason why baronets 

 should be, I am very placable, and, above all, 

 willing to hear reason. 



The House of Lords, once upon a time, was 

 voted " useless and dangerous." I do not think 

 that tbe baronets will ever be voted dangerous ' 



