1029. J Iilsh Priests in particular. 509 



they sneaked off with their tnils between their legs, h'ke a clog with a 

 flea in his ear. They say that their's is the only true church ; but I'll tell 

 you a story that'll settle that dispute. There was once upon a time a great 

 man that wanted to build a big house^ — its no matter about the name upon 

 him, for it doesn't concern us. Well, Avhat does he do ? He gets a Pro- 

 testant builder, because, of course, the Protestants have every thing their 

 own way, and must always have the best pickings that's to be had, by the 

 means of their roguery. Tlie carpenter was a Prasbytarian, being the 

 next to the Protestant ; and it's no lie to say that he was just as proud 

 as the builder, because he was as big a blackguard. But then, boys, 

 ■who do you think the humble hod-man was ? What would he be but 

 a decent Catholic, one of the right sort ? for you know, that when there's 

 work to be done, it's the poor Catholic that's put down to it ; and that's 

 why none of you have a ski'eed to your backs worth mentioning. One 

 day the Protestant says to the Prasbytarian, ' I want to go up the 

 ladder, to see what's doing above.' — ' At your pleasure, Sir,' says the 

 Prasbj'tarian. — ' Stay below, fellow,' says the Protestant to the hiunble 

 hod-man, ' until your betters are served.' With that he mounted the 

 ladder as gay and impudent as if he was Lord Castlereagh himself. But 

 there was them watching him that wouldn't see the Catholic hod-man 

 treated in that manner. The Prasbytarian followed after ; and the last 

 upon the step was the hvmible Catholic. Them that's low upon this 

 earth is the highest in heaven. Isn't it harder to shoot a gull than a 

 mag-jjie ? — (Darby, don't forget your pipes to-night at the christening, 

 you divil ! and I'll give you leave to play ' Moll Roe' for the ladies.) — 

 Just as the Protestant got to the top of the ladder, and the ruffane of a 

 Prasbytarian was in the middle, and the humble hod-man was on the 

 bottom rung, there comes such a whistle of wind as never was heard 

 before. The storm that blew down Killala Castle was a fool to it. 

 Hoo ! there was the very mischief among them ; and then we were to 

 see which was the best off. IMaybe it's the Protestant that didn't tumble 

 down from the top of the ladder, and get such a murdering fall that 

 it was the raarcy of Providence that he didn't fall down through and 

 through the earth, until he stuck upon the spit in Ould Nick's kitchen ! 

 But it was bad enough as it was. He fractured his skull, broke every 

 bone in his body, and, what was worse than that, he was kilt stone-dead 

 upon the spot. There was no more use in trying to waken hirn, than if 

 ye were to talk Latin to a goose. — (Phil Fleming, where's the turkey 

 you promised me at Christmas ? Sure you needn't be ashamed to send 

 it to me, even if you're obliged to throw in a couple of pouts along with 

 it.) — But the Prasbytarian got the cleanest fall of all. Where do you 

 think he fell .'' I suppose, now, you think he fell on his head, or his 

 arm ? No such thing : he fell upon the ground. And what do you think 

 he did when he got there .'' Nivir a single thing to swear by, except lie 

 like a drunken beast on the earth. — (The top of the morning to you, 

 ]\Iolly Doyle ; I hope your early rising will do you no harm.) — Well, 

 the Pra.sbytarian, boys, was nearly kilt ; his mouth was split open, like 

 a poor man's lease, from ear to car ; and, although he was one mortal 

 fracture from head to foot, he might have done well enough for all there 

 was of him ; but he got into a terrible passion the next day, because they 

 Manted to cut off the wrong end of Iiis leg, and he burst a blood-vessel, 

 and died. That was the end of the Prasbytarian. 1 tould you that the 

 humble hod-man was standing at the bottom ; bad cess to the much 

 lower he could be ; so when the others fell down, the poor Catholic slipt 



