1829.] a Tcde of Crutched'Triafs. 519 



so of necessity did the Spimkinses ; and, as Miss Spinks kept an album, it 

 came to pass that she one daj^ commissioned Thomas Spimkins to copy 

 into it a few of the most notable passages. On what slisrht circumstances 

 do the leading events of life depend ! The youth, delighted with his 

 task, ventured, after concluding it, to interpolate some stanzas of his 

 own ; IMiss Spinks inquired who was the author ; when Tom, blushing, 

 like Mrs. Mnlaprop, " confessed the soft impeachment," was instantly 

 pronounced a genius, and as such introduced by the Spinkses to all their 

 high acquaintances. 



Genius ! What a fatal talisman exists in that portentous word ! How 

 many industrious families has it led astray ! How much common-sense 

 has it shipwrecked ! How many prospects, once bright and imposing, 

 has it utterly, incurably blighted ! 



Astonished at her son's promise, dazzled by the hopes of his prefer- 

 ment, all i\Irs. Spimkins's usual good sense forsook her. The wisdom of 

 the world was lost in the feelings of the mother. She gave play at once 

 to the most ambitious expectations, and resolved henceforth not to let an 

 hour escape without striving to inoculate her husband. With this view, she 

 called every possible resource to her aid. She appealed to his affection 

 as a father, to his pride as a man ; she pointed out the injustice, not to 

 say the inhumanity, of thwarting the genius of Thomas ; she talked of 

 his w^ealth, his deserts, his dignities ; and, finally, by some miracle, for 

 which I have never yet been able to account, persuaded the old gentle- 

 man to relax so liberally in his anti-poetic notions, as to dispatch Thomas 

 to Oxford, where he would infallibly have gained the prize poem, had it 

 not, by some unaccountable mistake, been transferred to another. 



It is from this period that the historian of the Spimkinses must date 

 their decline and fall. Thomas returned home in due time from the 

 University, a finished genius, but as poor as such geniuses are apt to be ; 

 while his father, who now began to repent having sent him there, pro- 

 posed buying him a share in a grocer's shop at Wiiitechapel. But the 

 gifted youth disdained such base employment. He had a soul above figs ! 

 What ! Thomas Spimkins, Esq., of Brazen Nose, author of a poem which 

 was within an inch of gaining the Chancellor's Prize, stand behind the 

 counter in a white apron, answering the demands of some imeducated 

 customer for " a quarter of a pound of moist sugar, and change for 

 sixpence !" Impossible ! the idea was revolting to humanity ! 



Nevertheless, something must be done : one cannot live upon gentility, 

 even thougJi certificated at Oxford. Old Spimkins was precisely of this 

 way of thinking ; so, as a next resource, proposed articling his son to an 

 attorney. But here again a difficulty presented itself. The business of 

 a solicitor requires, it is well known, the impudence of a Yorkshire post- 

 boy — whereas Thomas was diffidence itself. Law, then, was out of the 

 question ; the church presented equal impediments ; the navy, though 

 respectable, was inappropriate ; the army ruinously expensive. In this 

 exigence, notiiing remained but literature; to which, after many an 

 urgent, impassioned, but fruitless remonsti"ance from his father, the 

 young man finally resolved to addict himself. Meanwhile, his kind 

 patrons, the Spinlc8es,tliinking naturally enough that genius should vege- 

 tate among congenial scenery, took him on a visit to tlieir villa at New- 

 ington IJutts, where, in a romantic summer-house, built up of red bricks 

 and oyster-shells, he gave vent to some of the sweetest stanzas imaginable. 

 One of these, inspired by that poetic ceremony, the Lord Mayor's Show, 



