1829.3 Memoirs of a Bashful Irishman. 645 



This occupation had continued for about a month, when a vacancy 

 occurring in the reportership for a morning paper, I applied for the 

 situation, obtained it, and was at once made happy in the receipt of five 

 guineas a week. It is to the period of my connexion with the Press, 

 that I look back with the sincerest satisfaction. There is something so 

 modest, so retiring, so intellectual, about the Manufacturers of Accidents 

 for the newspapers, that it is impossible not to be fascinated with their 

 society. They are usually men of cultivated minds, varied acquirements, 

 and polished manners ; easy of access, though bashful in their address ; 

 teinperate in their habits, seldom indulging in any beverage stronger 

 than port-wine-negus ; and above all, attached to their wives, and spot- 

 less in their intercourse with the sex in general. 



With this accomplished fraternity I speedily became intimate, while, 

 at the same time I won for myself high distinction in the Gallery. Few 

 reporters surpassed me, whether for the eloquence of their style, the 

 copious originality of their metaphors, or the singular vivacity of their 

 logic. Night after night the members were thunderstruck at the spirit 

 in which their speeches were taken down. Mr. Hume found himself a 

 wit. Sir Thomas Lethbridge a Demosthenes, and Colonel Wilson 

 a universal genius. But ingratitude is the vice of public men in Eng- 

 land. I had only been installed a month in my situation, when I was 

 summoned to the bar of the House of Commons for a breach of privilege, 

 contained in a report ofone of Sir Thomas Gooch's orations, reprimanded 

 by the Speaker in a style that brought the blushes of a hundred ances- 

 tors into my cheek, and then dismissed the Gallery. In justification of 

 his complaint. Sir Thomas urged that he was not in the House at the 

 time I attributed to him the speech in question, and that nothing but its 



unparalleled impudence But I need say no more : men of bashful 



temperament will at once appreciate my silence. 



I have omitted to state, that during the period I frequented the Gallery, 

 I boarded at the house of a lady, whose husband was a clerk in some 

 public office. To this gentlewoman I but too soon became attached. For 

 a long time, liowever — say ten days or a fortnight — my modesty pre- 

 vented an avowal. I sighed, but it was in secret ; I wept, but my 

 tears were known only to my midnight pillow. The object of my 

 attachment was fat, and her nose, it must be confessed, was red ; but 

 she abounded in gratitude, and took pity on my sufferings. The result 

 may be conceived : it was such as necessarily follows an Irishman's 

 introduction to a woman under fifty. 



Still I was not wholly without excuse. If I erred in one instance, I 

 made reparation in another ; for during the whole period of my intrigue, 

 I did my best to improve the age, by writing moral tales for the Evan- 

 gelical Magazine. But even this failed to make me happy. I was not 

 formed for guilt, so resolved to take the earliest opportunity of flying 

 the scene of temptation. This soon presented itself. The editorship 

 of a provincial newspaper falling vacant, I answered an advertisement 

 in the Times on the subject, and, having succeeded in my application, 

 l)orrowed twenty pounds from the husband of my chi-re amic, and set 

 off abruptly for the scene of my new exertions. 



I cannot say that the town was illuminated, neither was there any 

 puljlic deputation appointed to congratulate me on my arrival ; .still my 

 reception on the whole was flattering, for I think I never saw more 

 respectful con(Uict than was shewn me by the waiter of the inn where I 



